Response Magic 
Gossip not only kills
morale; it kills the bottom line.
No matter its delivery—an
eye roll, whispered caution about a supervisor’s temper, old-fashioned talking
behind someone’s back—gossip in any form is a symptom of a large and damaging
problem.
If your employees are too
uncomfortable to discuss their gripes directly with leadership, your
organization lacks a culture of open communication.
Take the example of a
hotel chain my team and I recently advised.
Thanks to a CEO with a
well-meaning but aggressive personality, the business suffered from gossip at
the highest level.
Most of the senior
executives felt intimidated and held back by the CEO’s abrasive management
style.
They feared harsh
criticism, possibly in a public forum—which meant addressing the issue directly
felt too risky.
Instead, they did what
countless employees across the world do: commiserated amongst each other,
further perpetuating their case that the CEO was the "bad guy" and
the executives his poor victims.
This cycle kept repeating
itself and led to a low level of senior collaboration, low morale, and multiple
costly failures from a highly competent and capable team.
Truly great cultures and
successful, ongoing employee engagement requires one thing above all others:
truth.
My colleagues and I advise
clients to declare their workplaces gossip-free zones. It’s not easy, but it’s
worth it.
The absence of gossip also
means the absence of rivalries, hidden agendas, and withholding information.
It’s simply the best way
to create teams that hum and a thriving culture.
In the spirit of open
communication, here are three tips to get you started.
STEP 1: CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT TO VENT
Even though gossip never
ultimately resolves issues, it’s often seen as a safer way to be heard and
validated.
Your job as a leader is to
make it safe for people to get real and to have frank, open conversations with
the colleague who is responsible for an upset, rather than just vent about it
to a colleague.
We lead clients through
"empty the bucket" sessions that get the real conversations out
there.
These sessions free up
time, emotional space, and productivity—they show people in the company at all
levels the path to the end of back-channel gossip and they set the foundation
of truth, trust, and open communication.
The key to these sessions
is creating an environment where truth telling feels safe. This includes:
Be appreciative of the
courage it takes to divulge one’s messy truth.
Listen generously, with
empathy and without agenda.
Don’t add opinions or
suggestions now. Your job is to give the person the chance to unpack their
thoughts fully—even once you think you "get it."
When someone shares
something vulnerable, that information can’t be used against the person.
Period.
At the end of the session,
allow the talker to be quiet and reflect. When it seems like the talker may be
done, offer authentic thanks and ask, "Is there anything else?"
Once established in a
culture, empty-the-bucket sessions happen spontaneously and are used to uncover
and address the real conversations and the issues impacting performance that
are challenging and sticky to address.
These conversations leave
people aligned, connected, and ready to move forward in partnership.
STEP 2: SET AN EXAMPLE FROM THE TOP
It’s important to create a
self-reinforcing culture that starts with clear expectations and training, and
weaves throughout the entire company.
Hold every person
accountable—and that means everyone. One or
two high-performing or very senior individuals given a free pass on a no-gossip
policy contaminates the entire effort.
Leaders, in particular,
undermine their own efforts more than they realize.
All the Tequila Fridays in
the world are meaningless if transparency isn’t modeled from the top down.
We worked with an executive
at a lifestyle company who felt the impact of colleagues talking about her
without addressing the problem with her directly.
During a meeting, she
noticed the most barely detectable eye roll exchanged between her CEO and COO.
She realized the subliminal
message was about her—and, in an instant, went from loving her job to the verge
of quitting.
An incident as seemingly
minor as this one can extinguish all the magic and promise of culture-building
efforts. It erodes trust.
Successful leaders serve
as examples of truth telling, even if that requires challenging conversations.
They don’t bad-mouth
others behind their backs.
They let everyone around
them know where they stand and they tackle issues directly—even the seemingly
undiscussable ones.
This is the only way to
build a foundation of trust.
STEP 3: TAKE ACTION ON FEEDBACK
If you’ve already
completed the first two steps, you’re probably feeling pretty good about your
organization’s commitment to open communication.
But don’t enter your
company into any "best places to work" competitions just yet.
For long-term success, you
must genuinely consider and do something about the feedback all that openness
has wrought.
One client, a large
retailer, invested significant time and money into a robust employee engagement
program.
They encouraged managers
and vice presidents to start paying more attention to how their teams were
feeling, and to truly listen to subordinates’ complaints and concerns.
But the entire initiative
rang hollow—and low engagement scores prevailed—because until recently the
managers themselves didn’t feel heard or valued by their supervisors.
They felt their feedback
was met with denial by the company’s most senior team.
Even worse, they sensed
that managers who dared to communicate challenging or unpopular notions faced
consequences like fewer opportunities for advancement.
This perception of the
company culture as a suppressive one was so woven throughout the company that
it self-perpetuated many times over.
Nearly everyone at
corporate headquarters gossiped about this perception—everyone, that is, except
the people whose actions created the environment in the first place.
The senior executives,
much like the hotel CEO, were unable to confront or even recognize their part
in the problem.
Empty-the-bucket sessions
and gossip-free policies set the stage for open, truthful communication.
But they’ll only succeed
if leaders continue to embrace and listen to negative, uncomfortable feedback
long after the initial session ends.
And, unless you act on the
feedback, all your engagement efforts will be nothing more than (very
expensive) icing slapped on top of a mud pie.
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