You Want To Get The Best Out Of Life? Do This One Thing

 
Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable (According to a Green Beret)
 

7 steps to acclimate yourself to extreme situations so you can excel at every level

I've been an entrepreneur for seven years. Midway through the fourth year, things were coming to a head. I wasn't getting enough sleep. I wasn't exercising, and I wasn't keeping my mind clear with meditation.

In the middle of what felt like my most stressful month of my life, my most senior employee resigned. 

While I was complaining about the debacle to an entrepreneur friend, he called me out: "Get comfortable with the feeling that you have right now."

Confused, I asked, "What feeling?" He replied, "Feeling uncomfortable. Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable."

He stopped me in my tracks. He was right. We all need to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. We're soft!

Here are 7 ways to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, according to one of the toughest and most resilient people I know, Green Beret Jason Van Camp.

1. Start.

The first step is always the most uncomfortable. All you have to do is show up. The battle is half won if you just show up. I get it. It's uncomfortable to start something.

If possible, make the decision to start on your own rather than have someone make that decision for you. Once you start, you are going to want to quit immediately.

Whenever you start something, it sucks. You start a diet, it sucks. You start working out, it sucks.

Remind yourself that you made a decision. You are already committed and there is no going back.

2. Don't quit.

You've decided to start. You're not seeing results. It's difficult. You want to quit. It's OK. Just keep pushing forward.

You're going to start thinking of a way out where you can quit and save face. Don't do it. Don't give yourself an out. Just don't. Don't give yourself any options. Either you succeed or you fail.

No excuses.

The point when you are just about to give up is the precise moment when the other guy gives up. At some point you are going to ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?" You better have an answer. What is driving you? Is it something someone said or did to you? Is it a competition?

Is it a challenge? Is it something that you have to prove to yourself? Is it just pride? Whatever it is, it had better be powerful.

3. Push yourself past your comfort zone.

At some point, you are going to say to yourself, "I've never done this before" or "I don't know what I'm doing."

We've all been there. Here's a trick: Don't say it out loud. Just pretend to be confident. Fake it till you make it. It's scary, but I promise you this: When it's over, you are going to say, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it was." Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.

4. Embrace "the suck."

The situation is bad--deal with it. And don't just deal with it--open your arms and welcome it as you would an old friend. You know him well.

Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, he shows up. "The suck" is here to make you tougher. He's a friend that arrived to make you better. Instead of complaining, celebrate the blessing that is the suck.

If you are embracing the suck by yourself, laugh at how ridiculous the situation is. You are building your mental and physical toughness points. If you are embracing the suck with others, you've just made new best friends for life.

Embracing the suck in a group is a powerful bonding experience.

5. Be around like-minded people.

Create a support network. Talk about your experiences. The worse the experience it is to you, the better the story it is to everyone else.

Soon, you will be seeking uncomfortable experiences to share with your friends. Be a good storyteller.

6. Recognize your improvements.

Track your progress. Revel in it. You are now a changed person. You know it because you see it. Build your confidence by going back to what before was uncomfortable and go through the experience again.

You are seeing your progress in real time. By nature, you are going to want to push the envelope to find out your boundaries. You will find yourself saying, "I wish it would suck more." It's our human nature to know what we are able to overcome.

7. Rinse. Repeat.

There's an old Russian saying, povtorenie mat ucheniya, which means "repetition is the mother of learning."

The more you perform the same activity, the more confident you become. 

Confidence is a tangible thing--it comes from practice and repetition.

Source:     Inc.com

How To Stand Up For Yourself

Not everyone is born with a natural charm, that which brings people together with no effort at all, the kind of charm that gets results, that magnets the object of your affection towards you, etc.

Some people need to work harder to be and achieve those things and more.

There are so many things that bring our confident levels down like looking in mirrors and not seeing what we want to, comparing ourselves to others, looking at their Facebook walls, not having the things we’re supposed to have by this age, name it, it’s everywhere.

We’re judged by different yardsticks and it’s hard to stack up to each of them.

Which is why we need to realize that we don’t have to. We just need to find our voice inside, not to stand up for others, but to stand up to ourselves when we’re pulling ourselves down.

Some tips on how to be more confident:

#1. Be grateful

The more you count your lucky stars, the more confident you’ll be because you’ll realize just how lucky you are to be given the opportunities that you have at this moment.

Practicing for a job interview? You’re fortunate to be called in for one.

Worried your ideas might not be good enough? At least your brain is working.

Embarrassed that your car isn’t as expensive as others? You have a car that takes you places (plus, less debt!).

Always look for the right perspective and see your life from there.

#2. Keep a joke in your pocket

Ever notice that the people you’re drawn to at a party or a seminar are the ones who make you feel comfortable, the ones who crack a joke or open with a relatable personal experience?

Doing this not only helps your audience to be more comfortable around you, but it works the other way around as well.

When you try to break tension and relate to people, you will feel relieved at having been able to make them laugh or elicit a reaction from them.

#3. Power dress

No matter how you feel inside, looking absolutely sharp on the outside can really do wonders.

If you feel weak and that your confidence is not going to hold up for the day, your belt will hold it up for you.

Dress better than you normally would. Even just the right shoes can literally make you walk a little smoother, and with an extra kick in the heel.

Choose the color that’s right for you, the fit that hugs your body well, and make sure everything’s crisp and tidy.

If you look together, you’ll act together.

#4. Talk louder

I don’t mean shout at people. What I mean is that you should speak up.

Shy people usually talk really softly, timidly, and hesitantly, which makes it very hard for them to be heard (literally). So when people ask them to repeat themselves or when they show that they didn’t hear them.

Shy people will think it’s because their idea wasn’t good enough or that it sounds stupid.

When really, they might just not have been heard.

Talk loud enough for people to hear what it is you have to say. Watch them react differently to you.

There you have them, do you know of any other trick to stand up for oneself? Let us know in the comment section below

#DrJTF

3 Ways To Develop Unshakable Confidence

Here’s a big mistake, one that’s critical to avoid….  

  

You see it all the time... New entrepreneurs start by chasing the money and experienced entrepreneurs often measure their success by their income.

    

In short: they’re focused on the money, on their bank accounts.

    

But this is the WRONG account.

    

Sure, it’s great to make money, however, there’s something much more important if you want lasting, consistent and fulfilled success…

    

It’s your confidence account.

    

So today, I want to share this short video with you… “3 Ways to Develop Unshakable Confidence”

Watch it here:     

You’ll learn how to boost your confidence… what your confidence account is… and why it’s the most important account you have.

  

The video is only about 5-minutes long.

   

So, if you’ve ever struggled with your inner dialogue, the one sowing the seeds of doubt in your mind...

    

Or, if you’ve ever felt discouraged by the opinions of those around you. You really should watch this video.

   

Learn how to develop an unshakable confidence

12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently

By:     Travis Bradberry

True confidence has a look all its own.

Confidence takes many forms, from the arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet self-assurance of Jane Goodall.

True confidence -- as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities -- has a look all its own.

And truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because they inspire others and make things happen.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." -- Henry Ford

Ford's notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your success is manifest in the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne that showed confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others.

Learning to be confident is clearly important, but what is it that truly confident people do that sets them apart from everyone else?

I did some digging to uncover the 12 cardinal habits of truly confident people, so you can incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.

1. They get their happiness from within.

Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.

People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments.

They know that no matter what anyone says, you're never as good or as bad as people say you are.

2. They don't pass judgment.

Confident people don't pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don't need to take other people down a notch to feel good about themselves.

Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people don't waste time sizing up people and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.

3. They don't say yes unless they really want to.

Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression.

Confident people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make their nos clear.

When it's time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such as "I don't think I can" or "I'm not certain."

They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

4. They listen more than they speak.

People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don't feel as though they have anything to prove.

Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are more likely to learn and grow.

Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.

5. They speak with certainty.

It's rare to hear the truly confident utter phrases such as "Um," "I'm not sure," and "I think."

Confident people speak assertively because they know it's difficult to get people to listen if you can't deliver your ideas with conviction.

6. They seek out small victories.

Confident people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories.

One possible reason?  Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation.

The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges.

When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

7. They exercise.

A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competent socially, academically, and athletically.

They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher. Best of all, rather than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in confidence, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise that made all the difference.

8. They don't seek attention.

People are turned off by those who are desperate for attention.

The truly confident know that being yourself is more effective than trying to prove you're important.

People tend to read attitude quickly, and they're more attracted to the right kind of attitude than what, or how many, people you know.

Confident people always seem to bring the right attitude.

Confident people are masters of attention diffusion.

When they're receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there.

They don't crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.

9. They aren't afraid to be wrong.

Confident people aren't afraid to be proven wrong.

They like putting their opinions out there because they learn a lot from the times when they're wrong, and other people learn from them when they're right. Self-assured people know what they are capable of and don't treat being wrong as a personal slight.

10. They stick their necks out.

When confident people see an opportunity, they take it. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, they ask themselves, "What's stopping me? Why can't I do that?" and they go for it.

Fear doesn't hold them back because they know that if they never try, they will never succeed.

11. They celebrate other people.

Insecure people constantly doubt their relevance, and because of this, they try to steal the spotlight and criticize others in order to prove their worth.

Confident people, on the other hand, aren't worried about their relevance because they draw their self-worth from within.

Instead of insecurely focusing inward, confident people focus outward, which allows them to see all the wonderful things that other people bring to the table.

Praising people for their contributions is a natural result of this.

12. They aren't afraid to ask for help.

Confident people know that asking other people for help won't make them seem weak or unintelligent.

They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they look to others to fill the gaps.

They also know that learning from someone with more expertise is a great way to improve.

Bringing it all together.

Building confidence is a journey, not a destination.

Please share your thoughts on the matter in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/12-things-truly-confident-people-do-differently.html