Be A Leader Not A People Pleaser

When you look around you can divide managers into several categories.

You find some who truly adhere to the definition of leaders, have the vision for the team, are business people, with clear understanding of what needs to be done and doing it even when it is unpopular.

Then you have those who abuse the management position, the jerks, who go after their personal goals regardless the costs.

Finally, you have the people pleasers. Managers and leaders who subscribe to the notion that their main task is to make their teams happy because that will produce results, and make the manager popular.

What's wrong with pleasing people

Happy people are productive people. That is probably true.

Various studies has shown that happy people are more likely to be more productive than unhappy people.

However, happiness is not the only path to strong company culture and high performing teams. In fact, I would argue that there are better ways to achieve great results than focusing on keeping people happy.

Happy people won’t leave. That is to some extent also true. Until the moment they stop being happy.

The problem is with keeping people in the company by trying to make them happy with various perks, fancy office space, or not telling them the hard truth.

This approach leads to creating a culture of entitlement. You are building no resiliency. The moment business doesn’t go as planned, and you need to do something that will make people unhappy (being it cutting the perks, giving no bonuses, or even reducing number of employees) you are pretty much done. These things are difficult even in cultures with resilient people and they will destroy the productivity of the team and atmosphere in culture of entitlement for months or even years to come.

I’m not advocating that you should keep your team miserable. Far from it. Numerous studies has shown that positive emotions invigorate people and lead to higher productivity.

What I’m questioning is how you elicit these positive emotions. It is not by trying to please people.

With pleasing people and the culture of entitlement, you are only a step away from doing something that will displease them, elicit negative emotions, and the productivity plummets.

How to be a leader and not a people pleaser

So if trying to please your team is not the right strategy to leadership, what is? Well, it is not about keeping your team happy, it is about making them feel valuable, respected, engaged and energized.

How do you do that? How do you build a high-performing team of resilient people who don’t need to be constantly pleased by the world around them?

By following couple of simple practices:

Show direction – one of the key expectations from any leader is providing a vision. You need to be able to clearly state where is the organization heading and outline steps how you expect that it gets there. The best way of showing direction is not just by talking, but by leading the way. Leading by example is a must if you expect others to follow.

Explain “why” – not only you need to explain direction, you also need to be constantly reminding people “why”. Only if the team understands where you want to go and why, they can help you to get there. Only by understanding “why” people can make sound decisions, and if they run into obstacles, they can overcome them the right way that gets the organization closer to fulfilling the vision.

Keep the focus – help the team to keep focused on what matters. Too often managers instead of focusing their team on the top goals, create more and more distractions just for the sake of doing something. Yes, you could do these twenty things, but your job as a manager is to distil it down to just a couple with the highest impact, and then guard it with your life.

Say “no” – learn to say “no” to things that are either not aligned with the ultimate goal, the business model, the organizational culture, or that maybe are aligned, but are not a priority. Saying and owning the no is one of the most important things you as a manager can do since it builds your credibility, it grows your influence, and it helps your team to be focused on the right things.

Build ownership – you don't need to give people equity in the company to create a sense of ownership. In fact, chances are that won't work anyway since the stake in the company will be negligible for each individual. What you can give them is psychological ownership. They need to "feel" they "own" something, regardless whether it is true in the legal sense of the word. You can increase psychological ownership in couple of ways. Invest time and effort in training your team so they have the capability to own a piece of work, explain how their work contributes to the vision, state who owns what so you create clear responsibility and accountability lines, and finally don't direct people but rather provide guidance and suggestions without enforcing your way of doing things.

Treat them like adults – way too often we tend to treat our people like 5 years old kids. We spend lots of effort hiring the best and the brightest and then micromanage them in every single thing they do, or try to shield them from unpleasant truths. Treating people with respect is one of the key skills you need to have as a leader.

Provide feedback – provide a clear, candid, well meant feedback. You as a manager have a moral responsibility to make sure your team knows where they stand. Every single individual on your team should understand when he is doing well, when not, and what they need to work on to get better and grow.

Help them grow – and I don’t mean giving your team some professional training. The one thing you can do is to identify what skills your team needs to develop to be better at their current and more importantly at their next job. By providing feedback, stretch goals, and building up their confidence and interest in learning you are not only helping them to do a better job but you are helping them to be a better human beings as a side effect.

Promote hardship – nothing worthwhile doing is easy. This might be a cliché but it still rings true. If you want your team to feel great, they need to work on something hard. Setting the bar high, giving the team challenges that stretch their skills and abilities, and expecting hard work will ultimately lead to huge feeling of accomplishment and pride once the work is done. If someone on the team is underutilized, either by not tapping their abilities or by not using all their time, these people will be dissatisfied, will focus on the nonsense, complain about every small unimportant thing, work on stuff that is not important and ultimately leave the company at best, or destroy the team morale at worst.

Make them proud – celebrating successes is a great way to show to the team that their work has a meaning. I don’t necessarily mean giving a big party. It is much more important to stop regularly, look back at what was accomplished, what the results of the hardship are, and make it clear that it is the team that made it happen. It is the team that changed lives of other people through delivering a product or providing a service. By doing this you make your team proud, they will feel a sense of purpose and ultimately increase a sense of ownership and focus on continuing to do a great job.

That’s it. It says nothing about making the team happy, pleasing them, or fulfilling all their wishes. Simple right? Simple, but obviously not easy.

It is much easier to please than to lead. A good manager and a leader is able to build a culture where happiness is a by-product of doing a great work. You don’t need fancy office space, you don’t need free meals, cars, or other perks.

The only thing you need so to make your team feel valued, respected and proud of their accomplishments.

23 Traits Of Super Cool Leaders

  

Leadership is one of those nebulous terms -- you hear it all the time but it has various definitions.

The traits that make up a good leader can vary depending on the organization, team, manager and work environment.

Leadership can also vary in style -- are you someone who dictates the group and doesn't listen to anyone else's opinion? Or do you lead with a more bureaucratic or democratic style?

"Every leader has a particular style of leadership that is innate.

However, the behaviors, attitudes or methods of delivery that are effective for one staff member may in fact be counterproductive for another," says Michael Burke, account supervisor, MSR Communications, a public relations firm.

"Great leaders are aware of their own style and make the effort to learn how their style actually comes across to their team. They learn to flex their leadership style to individual team members so that they communicate and behave in ways that motivate and inspire."

Here are what five leadership professionals consider to be traits that make up a good leader:

Rachael Fisher-Layne, vice president of media relations, JCPR, a public relations agency

1. Honesty. Always do the honest thing. It makes employees feel like they know where they stand with you at all times.

2. Focus. Know where you're going and have a strong stated mission to lead people on. If you're not sure, how can your people be sure?

You have to have strong focus and stay the course.

3. Passion. Whatever it is, you must have passion for what you're doing. Live, breathe, eat and sleep your mission.

4. Respect. Not playing favorites with people and treating all people -- no matter what station in life, what class or what rank in the org chart -- the same.

5. Excellent persuasion abilities. People have to believe in you and your credibility.

Image is everything and the belief people have in you, your product, your mission, your facts or your reputation are key to being a great leader.

You have to persuade people of this -- it doesn't just happen.

Darcy Eikenberg, a leadership and workplace coach, Red Cape Revolution

1. Confidence. If you don't believe in yourself, no one will.

I hear leaders worrying that if they show too much confidence, others will think them arrogant.

The reality is people want to know what you know for sure -- and what you don't.

Having the confidence to say "I don't know" is a powerful skill.

2. Clarity. The only way you can get confidence is by becoming really, really clear about who you are and what is most important to you.

New leaders fail when they try to become all things to all people, or try to do too much out of their area of excellence.

Clarity helps you say "yes" to the right things -- and "no" to others.

3. Care. The strongest, most effective leaders I've met care not just about the business, but about the people in it and the people impacted by it.

Plus, they show they care through their words and actions, even proving how they care for themselves and their family by taking unplugged vacations and continuing their own professional development.

Care shouldn't be a four-letter word in our workplace today -- and the best leaders know it.

Tom Armour, co-founder, High Return Selection, a recruitment firm

1. Integrity. They are people who are respected and worth listening to. I find in general due to all of the economic difficulties, employees prioritize and seek leaders and organizations that are honest and meet their commitments.

2. Compassion. Too many leaders these days manage with the balance sheet, often times at the expense of their employees and long-term customer relationships.

Talented people want to work for leaders and organizations that truly care about their employees and the communities in which they operate.

3. Shared vision and actions. People produce real business gains and smart people need to understand what is needed and be part of the solution.

4. Engagement. Great business leaders are able to get all members of their teams engaged. They do this by offering them challenge, seeking their ideas and contributions and providing them with recognition for their contributions.

5. Celebration. In today's work environment, people are working very long hours and they need to take some time to celebrate their successes in order to recharge their batteries.

Those leaders who fail to do this create burnout environment overtime.

Mike Sprouse, CMO, Epic Media Group, and author of "The Greatness Gap"

1. Humility. True leaders have confidence but realize the point at which it becomes hubris.

2. Empowering. True leaders make their associates feel emboldened and powerful, not diminished and powerless.

3. Collaborative. True leaders solicit input and feedback from those around them so that everyone feels part of the process.

4. Communicative. True leaders share their vision or strategy often with those around them.

5. Fearlessness. True leaders are not afraid to take risks or make mistakes. True leaders make mistakes born from risk.

Nancy Clark, author of "18 Holes for Leadership"

1. Genuine. You need to be clear on what your values are and must be consistent in applying them.

As part of that, you need to have the courage to hold true to them.

You must not lose sight of reality.

Lost values may be one of the biggest causes of downfalls.

2. Self-awareness. You need to be clear on what your strengths are and what complementary strengths you need from others. This includes understanding others and learning how best to utilize their strengths.

Many unsophisticated leaders think everyone should be like them; that too can cause their downfall. They surround themselves with people like them. "Group think" can blindside them and cause failure.

3. Leverage team strengths. Part of awareness is don't expect people to change. If you think you can change someone, think again.

This doesn't mean you can't help them grow and develop. But don't expect to change anyone (even yourself) behaviorally.

We are who we are.

Your job as a leader is to understand each person's strengths and place them in positions where they can flourish and grow.

If you are good at that, you have a huge part of the equation for success.

4. Leadership transitions. Going from individual contributor to supervisor is only the first of many transitions along the leadership pipeline.

You need to understand the business model, how it applies to your current position, what you need to do to provide the greatest value, and how to leverage your strengths at this level.

This requires building competencies and focusing on the right things.

No one ever tells you that there are many levels and many adjustments you need to make along the way.

5. Supportive. You need to foster a positive environment that allows your team to flourish.

Also by aligning the reward and recognition systems that best match your teams profile and deliver results.

Source:     CNN

How To Ignite The Leadership Traits In You

Five Ways To Grow Your Thought Leadership Flame In 2016

We are slowly waking up to the realization that everyone has great ideas. Some people keep their thoughts to themselves, and other people want to share their views.

When you say what you mean, some people will gather around and say “I feel the same way!” Some people will be curious. They’ll want to hear more. Some people will be 

horrified. God bless all three groups.

Your job is not to please anyone or to repeat the conventional wisdom. Your job is to listen to your own heart and brain and speak your own truth.

There are seven billion people in the world. Not all of them will agree with your views, and that’s fine. You don’t need seven billion fans.

When you put your thoughts out there for readers and listeners, you’ll attract people who see things the same way you do. They might live all over the world. Who knows what exciting conversation you could start!

It is easy now to get your message out — and people want to hear your ideas.

Why not share your ideas with a wider audience than your friends and your cat?

You can start growing your thought leadership muscles today.

You can write about the topics you are passionate about. 

You can speak in public about your favorite topics  or start a podcast or a video channel. 

You will become a thought leader the minute you begin sharing your ideas with other people.

The more ideas you share, the more ideas will pop into your head. 

Start bringing your ideas to light and you won’t run out of topics to write or speak or podcast about!

Here are five ways to begin letting your inner thought leader out. You can take baby steps at first. 

You are opening up a channel to your higher intellect or consciousness. 

Don’t beat up on yourself to write or speak more or to write or speak perfectly. 

Go easy on yourself, and don’t rush it!

Five Ways To Grow Your Thought Leadership Flame In 2016:

1. Get a journal and start writing in it every day or as often as you can. 

Write about your ideas. Make a list of topics you’re especially interested in. 

Write about your dreams and your own life and career. Don’t censor yourself! Just write, and don’t criticize what you write. 

Gradually as you write, the critical voice in your head will stop yammering at you and be quiet.

2. Talk to yourself in your head when you’re relaxing. 

Speak your thoughts out loud inside your head, as though you were giving a speech. 

Talk about the topics that interest you most. Don’t  use cue cards or an agenda as you speak to yourself silently in your head; just spin out your ideas about the things you feel most strongly about. 

You’ll see that speaking about a topic you feel passion for is completely different from speaking about a topic you couldn’t care less about.

3. Think about the authors and speakers you admire most. 

Write about them in your journal. What is it about those writers and speakers that you appreciate? 

Maybe it’s their topics, or the way they convey their ideas. 

Tune into the world of communication and choose a few thought leaders to follow. 

As you read or listen to their work, ask yourself “Why is this person compelling as he or she communicates? I want to be compelling, too — so what can I learn from the thought leaders I’ve learned the most from?”

4. Volunteer to make a presentation at work. 

If you’re not working right now, volunteer to make a presentation at your local job search networking club. 

You could present on any number of topics, from how to create a LinkedIn profile to a motivational talk for job-seekers. Grab any opportunity you can get to practice speaking this year!

5. Start a blog and write a new blog post at least once a week. 

You can blog for free at LinkedIn and over time build up an audience of followers. 

The more you write, the more confidence you’ll have. You are amazing right now and getting stronger every day. Hats off to you. 

Your thought leadership flame is growing!

Source:     Your Leadership Flame Is Glowing

12 Ways To Become A Charismatic Leader

They say "you either got it, or you don't." But when it comes to charisma, you don't have to have it — you can learn it. 

According to Olivia Fox Cabane's book "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism," people aren't born with charisma. They acquire it through knowledge and practice.

Charismatic leaders are more influential, persuasive, and inspiring. People are magnetically drawn to them and more willing to perform above and beyond the call of duty to support them.

So how can you become more charismatic? 

We've compiled the most useful tips and tricks from the book below.

Loosen up; you don't have to be the most attractive person in the room.

Yes, we all agree that being attractive certainly has its advantages, but it's definitely not a requirement. 

Winston Churchill wasn't a sex symbol, but he's still considered one of the most influential leaders in history.

Make people feel like they're the most intelligent, impressive, and fascinating person you've ever met.

To make someone feel as if they're the only person that matters, do these three things during conversations:

1. Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences.

2. Reduce how quickly and often you nod.

3. Pause for two full seconds before speaking.

Always be present.

A study conducted by Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert estimated that 46.9% of the mind is spent "wandering."

"Being present means simply having a moment-to-moment awareness of what's happening," Fox Cabane writes. "It means paying attention to what's going on rather than being caught up in your thoughts."

In the middle of a conversation, if your mind is somewhere else, your eyes will glaze over and your companions will notice. Make an effort to be in the moment.

Think of something pleasant so you appear to be sincere.

Your brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality so when you imagine something pleasant, your body will react in an open, accepting manner and make you appear more sincere. 

It only takes 17 milliseconds for people to read your face, so any "split-second microexpression" has a good chance of being caught. Fox Cabane writes:

If there's an incongruence between our main expression and that microexpression, people will feel it on a subconscious level: their gut will tell them something's not quite right.

There's a clear, visible difference between a social smile and a true smile. Think of something pleasant and your smile will be a real one. 

Make sure you have a solid handshake

The right handshake will do more for you than an expensive suit will. To appear more open and inviting, rise if you're sitting to be similar heights and keep your hands out of your pockets when you shake someone's hand.

And be sure to avoid the worst types of handshakes: 

1. The Dead Fish: This happens when one hand is extended into another, but there is barely any movement.

2. The Knuckle Cruncher: This happens when there's too much force. The violator is usually someone who doesn't know their own strength or someone who is trying to prove that they should be taken seriously.

3. The Dominant: This happens when the hand's palm is extended down, which symbolizes the offender having the "upper hand." The opposite of this is "The Twisting Dominant," which is where the hand is normal at first, but then twists to gain the upper hand once contact is made.

4. The Politician's Handshake: This happens when the other person uses their free hand to cover the handshake, the other person's wrist, arm, or shoulder.

Become an excellent listener by deliberately pausing and asking questions.

John F. Kennedy was known as a "superb listener" who made others feel like he was "with them completely."

When most of us are trying to show that we're listening, we typically wait for someone to be done speaking before we start. 

This is not a sufficient method. Instead, ask them questions. 

If you're truly not interested, it will show on your face that you're secretly waiting for your turn to speak.

Choose your seat carefully around a table.

When people sit across from one another with a table separating them, they tend to argue more and speak in shorter sentences.

If you want to avoid confrontation with someone, sit next to them or at a 90-degree angle from them. 

Also avoid seating them with their back to an open space, especially if there is a lot of commotion going on behind them.

Don't compare yourself to others.

It's in our nature to compare ourselves to others, but if you're criticizing yourself, "the threat response impairs analytic thinking, creative insight, and problem solving," David Rock, the founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute, told Fox Cabane.

This affects us personally, but it also affects how others perceive us.

Combine your power with warmth to create a full, charismatic package.

To show that you're powerful, you don't have to physically have great strength. You can achieve this status by maintaining a strong persona — either by displaying intelligence, like Bill Gates, or kindness, like the Dalai Lama. 

When you increase your level of power, your charisma level also increases, but it's best to combine this with warmth so you don't appear too cold or dictatorial.

Don't let self-doubt affect your persona.

In 1978, Georgia State University professors discovered that the "impostor syndrome" affected 70% of the population at one point or another. 

When you have it, you feel like a fraud and fear that you'll one day be exposed. 

You may worry that your success in life has been the result of some kind of error or think that everyone around you is more intelligent than you.

Highly successful people like Tina Fey and Sheryl Sandberg have confessed to feeling this way sometimes. 

This kind of self-doubt can make you appear untruthful and unsure of yourself, repelling people rather than drawing them to you. While there's no magic cure,sharing your feelings with a trusted confidant may help relieve them. 

Make time to warm up before a big event.

When it's important that you're charismatic, make sure you fit in a warm up period that allows you to gradually ramp up to the level you want. 

You wouldn't run a marathon without warming up or give a speech without practicing — so don't think you can simply be charismatic on the spot. Get in the mental state of warmth and power by taking part in an activity beforehand that makes you happy.

If running calms you, then make time for this or simply listen to your favorite music before an important meeting. Make sure the playlist has songs with themes of self-confidence, warmth, empathy, and patience.

Know that there are different charisma styles.

You can choose different styles based on your own personality and situation. Whatever you do, don't force it or you'll end up seeming unauthentic. 

Here are the different styles:

1. Focus: This style is based on the perception of presence. Adopt this when you want people to feel like they're the only ones in the room with you.

2. Visionary: This style makes other people feel inspired.

3. Kindness: This kind of charisma comes from body language and is based mostly on warmth. However, if you don't combine this with some authoritative skills, you'll come off as overeager.

4. Authority: This is the most powerful charisma style, and those who acquire it are not likeable all the time. We evaluate this power through four indicators: body language, appearance, title, and reactions of others.

Source:     How To Become A Charismatic Leader