Did You Just Say - "Try Harder"

 

The Answer May Not Just Be "Try Harder"

 

If things are going "well" for you, it might be difficult to admit that the vast majority of us will eventually suffer from the “three un’s” 

-    unhappy in general

-    unconvinced things will ever change

-    unsure what to do next

If you have been there, you would surely know that it is a very tough place to be.

And when somebody applies conventional wisdom to solving such a difficult problem, the experience is made even worse.

Society tells us that we don’t need help in making things better. Phrases like “it’s all in your head” may be true, but they oversimplify both the problem and the solution.

For instance, people in a challenging situation are often told to “just try harder,” implying that the answer is simply applying brute force to a complex problem.

This is bad advice. Here’s why:

One of the core traits of feeling stuck as we’re describing is that the next action isn’t obvious. The path forward is totally obscured by a swirling mass of what seems like a million problems, all of them in different shapes and sizes.

How are you supposed to “try harder” when you’re not even sure where to begin?

Imagine you’ve never climbed a mountain before. If you’re standing at the base of Mt. Everest and your job is to summit the mountain, it will take more than just raw effort to accomplish the goal.

You need a plan. And, ideally, a guide. More on that in a bit.

In fact, many of those we know have come to us after having followed this advice. They tried to feel better, to suppress negative feelings, and to force themselves to be happy. As you’ve probably gathered, this approach produced little success, if any.

Let me tell you a quick story about someone we recently interacted with.

From the outside, she really had it together. She had a great job and earned a good living. She and her husband had been married for 18 years and, if you asked any of their friends, they had a great relationship that produced three beautiful kids.

But she felt “off.”

For years, she felt a gnawing sense of unhappiness.

She would tell herself that what she was feeling wasn’t true—she had no reason to be unhappy. After all, she had what so many others wanted. Things weren’t perfect, of course, but how could she be unhappy?

“I thought I was being selfish and spoiled,” she told me during our first meeting. “With so many other people in worse shape, how could I possibly want more?”

It seemed then that her view of her life wasn’t what others saw from the outside

Her kids were getting older and starting to move out of the house and head off to college. Even when they were home, they were in their own worlds.

The death of her father a few years before had been sudden. Being the oldest sibling, she found herself as more of a support to her sister and mother than somebody who was grieving her own loss. Life kept moving and she never took the time and space she needed to mourn the loss of her father.

“None of that is unique to me, though. All kids move out. Marriages go through bad times. Parents die. It’s part of life. Why can’t I just see past the negatives and focus on what’s good?” she moaned

She, like countless others, had tried to just get over it or try harder to not feel this way. And it wasn’t working. “It’s almost like my body and mind forgot how to feel peaceful.”

If you've been in that situation before, this would definitely resonate with you.

It’s awful. It feels hopeless. And you feel like you’re not grateful for what you have, which makes it even worse.

You need to know that those feelings are valid, even if part of your brain tells you they aren’t.

The truth is, we need a change of perspective to make sense out of our feelings of dejection even in the midst of plenty and not just a matter of trying harder

And if you’re feeling that same sense of unhappiness, we can help - we are just an email away

Get in touch

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

A Little Stress Is Good For You BUT . . .

 

A Little Stress Is Good For You BUT . . .

 

it's amazing how stress affects the way we learn.

Although a little stress in your life can improve your memory...

A lot of it will stop you from processing new information and learning new things.

You feel overwhelmed.

It gets harder and harder to concentrate.

Studying becomes a titanic struggle.

I know because that used to be a big issue for me.

Back then, my business was starting to grow really fast.

All responsibilities were on me, and I felt pressured all the time to make things right.

There was always something to do.

A problem to fix.

A situation that needed my attention.

I felt like I was being pulled into a thousand directions every day.

It got to a point where I was so overwhelmed I just wasn't able to concentrate enough to learn new skills.

I was under a lot of stress every day and there was always a new crisis.

Let go of that and focus on learning new things just wasn't easy.

I just didn't know how to put my mind in a state of peace where I could absorb everything I was studying.

I had to find a way where I could calm down all the voices inside me.

A way I could calm my mind so I could concentrate and learn new things more efficiently.

To calm all the voices inside my head and focus just on learning.

That's when I found out about mindfulness.

What's that?

We focus our attention on the present moment and accept it without any judgment.

There's no right or wrong way about feeling about something.

We focus on neither the past nor the future.

Just the present.

That way, we shift our focus from all preoccupations and just appreciate what's happening now.

With mindfulness, we learn to accept our bad emotions and past experiences instead of denying them.

It's all about now.

I knew I needed to reduce my stress levels and improve my memory, so I decided to try it out.

Whenever I was about to study, I would do a couple of minutes of mindfulness meditation first.

I just couldn't believe what happened after that...

My stress levels went down

My concentration and memory improved.

It allowed me to calm down all those inner thoughts that were distracting me.

That storm of distractions inside my head had calmed down.

With that out of my way, my brain was free to absorb and process everything I was learning much faster.

It was so effective I still use it up to this day whenever I feel overwhelmed.

 

Try it out and see

 

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

Culled

How Do You Manage The Cracks In Your Life?

 

How Do You Manage The Cracks In Your Life?

 

Just as it has been said times without number, there is no perfect life.

Every person has a crack in his or her life.

The challenge most of us have is what to do with the cracks in our lives.

The story is told of an elderly woman who daily walked down to the river every morning to fetch water - her house was not far from the river and she regarded it as part of the exercise to keep fit.

She used to carry two buckets, one on the left hand and the other on the right hand.

She would fill them both at the river and then carry them back.

Of the two buckets, one was water tight and held its water flawlessly but the other a little bit older and had a few thin almost unnoticeable cracks on its body and thus dripped water as the old lady carried the buckets home.

Then one day

On the walk down to the river, the cracked bucket – who had always felt like it wasn’t as good as the other bucket – said to the elderly woman, “I want you to know that I’ve been leaking water every morning for the past several years. I’m so sorry for being cracked and making your life more difficult. I understand if you need to replace me with a better bucket.”

The elderly woman smiled. “Do you really think I haven’t known about your cracks this whole time?” she asked. “Look at all the beautiful flowers that grow on the path from my cottage to the river. I planted their seeds, but every morning it’s you who does the watering.”

This teaches us that 

Feeling good enough in life, in work, in business, and in our relationships has everything to do with how we personally judge the cracks in our own bucket. Because we all have a few cracks!

But are they cracks that wreck us, that taint us, and that ruin our experience and desirability?

Or do our cracks water a trail of flowers we haven’t even stopped to appreciate?

Choose to see the flowers through the cracks in your own bucket – choose to see how it’s exactly those cracks that make you good enough

Living is a choice, choose the cracks you wish to see and the ones you wish to ignore.

Give it a try

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

Little Actions Could Make A Big Win

 

Little Actions Could Make A Big Win

 

There is this man who lived in a House near the beach. He loved to take a walk down the beach every morning

So on one such morning, as he was taking his walk, he noticed that the high morning tide had left hundreds of starfish on the beach when it receded.

He knew that these starfish would die when the Sun came up in the skies

Instead of continuing with his walk, he decided to help as many of the starfish as he could.

So while the tide was fresh and the starfish were alive, the man took a few steps, picked one up and threw it back into the water.

He did that repeatedly.

Right behind him was another person who didn’t seem to understand what he was doing.

He caught up with him and asked, "What are you doing? There are hundreds of starfish. How many can you help? What difference does it make?"

This man did not reply, took two more steps, picked up another one, threw it into the water, and said, "It makes a difference to this one."

Now, why am I telling you this story?

Simple… we should never underestimate the power of change no matter how small.

What if I tell you that a huge victory is really just an accumulation of small wins? That little actions could make a big win? And that, sometimes, just one small change could be all that it takes to make a huge difference?

Time to take action to change your life?

Try it.

Just try it

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

What Has Gone Wrong?

 

What Has Gone Wrong?

 

You were the smartest, most powerful big headed spermatozoon that won the race to be born into this Planet.

That spermatozoon that eventually became you exhibited so much bravery, so much courage, it was so swift and adept that it outsmarted the over 150 million other spermatozoa that were released at the same time into that race for life.

But you are struggling to live life, you are in search of courage, of bravery, you are yet to achieve what you want out of life.

Why is that?

There's one reason why I see most people do not go after what they want.

Because of the "what if?"

Whenever it's time to make a life-changing decision, they start wondering...

What if something goes wrong?

What if nothing goes according to plan?

What if nobody likes my project, presentation, idea, etc?

What if this becomes successful and I am in the lights of the world, can I handle all that publicity?

What if I am unable to raise the funds?

What if this
what if that

They're just too afraid of what might happen.

So, they stress, they obsess, the analyze and overanalyze and usually, that stress conquers them.

So, they procrastinate, and then become paralyzed and eventually do nothing.

They decide to settle with what they have (maintain the status quo or as it is said live in their comfort zone) instead of facing the possible (and very unlikely) consequences of moving forward.

They let their fears stop them from going after what they want in life.

By doing that, they kill all the dreams and aspirations.

What these people later find is that they end up living with a burden over their shoulders.

A burden of regret.

You regret you didn't have the courage.

That you didn't take a step forward and faced your fears.

You regret you were not courageous enough.

Now, there's nothing you can do.

That very small window of opportunity is now closed, and you can't do anything about it.

Don't despair, though.

The fact you're reading this post tells me you're still on time.

Maybe you're facing that life-changing decision right now.

But you haven't made that leap because you're just too afraid of what might happen.

If this is you, then I have a very powerful exercise I want you to do right now.

It's the same exercise that I do to make the best possible decisions every time.

Ready?

Now, I want you to imagine you are 90 years old.

You're laying down on your bed, and you know your time is near.

Then, you start reflecting on how your life was...

As you reflect on all the decisions you made during your lifetime, you get to the moment you're right now.

Now, let's think about two scenarios.

In one scenario, you didn't take the lead.

You chose the "status quo" and didn't take the risk.

As you are 90 and about to die, do you regret that decision?

Would you have lived a better life? Had a better job? Achieved your dreams by moving forward?

Hold that for a moment.

Now, let's go to scenario number two.

In this one, you did take the leap.

You made that decision.

You got away from that toxic relationship that was stopping you.

You started that business.

When you think about that decision, are you happy you made it?

Do you think about all the good things that came out of that decision?

Maybe your partner is right beside you just because you decided to ask for that date.

You were free to travel the world and live without worries because you started that business.

That decision completely changed your life.

Ok, end of the exercise.

It was eye-opening, wasn't it?

What's so good about this exercise is that it makes you look at things differently.

You make every decision from a new perspective.

You stop thinking about the immediate consequences of everything you do.

Now, when a new opportunity appears, you'll ask yourself...

When I'm old and death is near, will I regret that I didn't take action?

If you do this, you'll have no regrets in the future.

You'll think about your life, and be proud of every decision you made.

That you took advantage of every opportunity that came your way.

You were not afraid.

You were brave.

The time to project to being 90 years of age is TODAY infact NOW.

Remember to cross check with yourself at 90, the next decision you would make concerning an opportunity that will come your way

As always, we wish you all the best

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

Can We Really Make Life Simple Again?

 

Can We Really Make Life Simple Again?

 As young persons, life was simple infact very simple, right?

And sometimes we want to get back to that innocence of childhood and spend some time there, isn't it?

However, the truth is that life is still simple.

The difference is that we are now older and have lost all the childhood innocence, faith, trust and hope. The older we get, the more complicated we make life.

Now compare these two scenarios - as children, we were quite hopeful of the fact that we would get the best things in life. we knew what we wanted out of life, for instance I wanted to be a Medical Doctor; we had no concealed agenda or biases. we loved people who smiled often and kept away from those who were always frowning. we ate when we were hungry, drank water when we were thirsty and went to sleep when we were dog tired from playing with other children in the neighbourhood, we trusted our instincts and acted them out without seeking validation or approval, life was that simple

but

as we grew older,  we gradually lost our childhood, we had so many negative external influences, our minds became gradually conditioned to these negative external influences.

At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.

When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times.

Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.

We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.

We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. 

And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, bought things we didn’t need, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time we made our lives more and more difficult — we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need. And at the very least, Covid has shined a spotlight on this reality.

Can we make life simple again?

You bet we can

So, let’s get back to the basics, shall we?

Let’s make things simple again.

Here are three ways to do just that:

1.      Change your focus

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The mind is indeed your battleground. It’s the place where the greatest conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never did happen. But if you allow these thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into a nervous breakdown, into depression, and into defeat.

Because, to a great extent, you are what you think.

You can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking

A beautiful day always begins with a beautiful mindset.

When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Breathe onto the bathroom mirror, just to see how amazing your breath looks.

The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. 

2.      Fight today's battles ONLY

No matter what’s happening, anyone can efficiently fight the battles of just one day.

It’s only when you add the battles of those two abysmal eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated.

Also, remember to refill your bucket on a daily basis. That means catching up on sleep, making time for fun and laughter, eating healthy enough to maintain peak energy levels, and otherwise making time for recovery from the pressures of life. 

3.      Respectfully care less

Today, I challenge you to make this your lifelong, daily motto: “I respectfully do not care.”

Say it to anyone who passes judgment on something you strongly believe in or something that makes you who you are.

People will inevitably judge you at some point anyway, and that’s OK. You affected their life; don’t let them affect yours.

Remind yourself that even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of themselves. You know this is true.

You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

Make that decision for yourself today.

And when you do these three things, you would be surprised at  how simple your life can get again

I bid you try

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

Don't Go And Kill Yourself - Read This First

 

Don't Go And Kill Yourself - Read This First

 

And He Told Me - Everything Is Going To Be Alright

Three of us were already in the elevator waiting for it to close and be on the upward swing, and just as it was about to do that, five guys rushed in, completing the number, the three of us already in the elevator moved over and made room. One of the guys stood right next to me and then the door closed and the elevator started its upward journey.

I was heading to the 30th Floor, didn't know who else was heading there as I was alone with my thoughts.

Suddenly, one of the guys that came in last the guy next to me said - "Let's all hold hands together and it will all be all right."

Everyone laughed. I thought maybe he was a Preacher or some Comedian or something like that and I just involuntarily responded

"No it won't."

He turned to me and laughed.

He and his friends started talking a bit.

We were crossing the 5th Floor when he said something again and everyone laughed - I did not catch that because I was far away from there (in my thoughts that is) and then he leaned to me and said. "There are some strange people in this elevator," and he pointed at his friends.

I said, "It might not be a good idea to make friends in elevators." He laughed.

We landed on the eight floor and two persons went out. When we got to the fifteenth Floor, the guy next to me and his friends got ready to exit and then just as he was about to do that, he took my hand and shook it and said to me - "It's going to be alright."

Then he rushed out of the elevator.

I was pleasantly shocked at his action - I did not act friendly, we were not acquainted, could not even exchange names but he still must have read my mind to know that I was troubled or maybe my demeanour must have impressed that upon him.

Those words of his - "it's going to be alright" - brought some comfort to me at that moment

And ever since then, whenever I am stressed about something — if business is a mess one day, if I'm nervous on a program, if I'm late for an important appointment...

If someone in my family is upset at me. If I'm afraid about money, or I feel over-stressed about my schedule...

I always tell myself it's going to be alright.

And I always feel relief. For a brief moment it always feels true. Like I just surrendered to the Universal Force.

The world is in a slump right now, the advent of corona virus has changed the way we used to live and enjoy our lives.

Companies are folding up, people are losing their jobs, so much stress in homes right now, personal economies have been shattered and it does appear like the last days are here - well I don't know about the last days but what I do know is that - soon everything is going to be alright

So when you feel like the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders, when you look into the horizon and you can't see anything, when you think of the future and all you see is fear, relax, don't kill yourself for nothing - this too shall pass and everything will be alright again

Use this as a mantra and you would get out of stress quickly and easily

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

How Much Future Have You Got?

 

How Much Future Have You Got?

 

I put this question to some of my friends and what did I get as a reply?

Not one of them knew how much future they have.

I also don't know how much future is left for me

But have you noticed how we go about our lives preparing for the future that we find no time to live in the present?

Have you noticed how we beat ourselves daily struggling to make ends meet and to have a bright future?

Have you noticed how we cheat, drop friendships, walk out on relationships e.t.c. simply because we think they are not serving us now for a better future?

And yet none of us knows how much future we've got and some might not even know when the future has come!!

Yes it is expected that anyone who survives the childhood diseases attacks would expect to live to an old age BUT that is only an assumption because life usually happens and when it happens the future is gone.

And so, what if there is no future? or the future does not come? where will all the labours of today go to?

Now, this is not in any way to suggest that men should not work hard today while they have the energy and strength so to do in order to live easy in the future of old age but rather to suggest that in our pursuit of the things of the future, we should slow down to savour the aromas of today. And so we advise us to think globally but act locally meaning to work assiduously hard for the future but live in the now

Today is our only PRESENT and we have to make conscious effort to live in it.

Stop postponing your happiness, stop pushing your joy forwards, stop putting off that vacation to an exotic place, stop waiting for the best weather to start what can change your life, just STOP.

You have just one breath

And what happens to it on daily basis is out of your control.

Make the most of your time here

Live every second

The future is here already

It is NOW

Dr. Jerry - the First Oguzie: JP

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

February 2021 Has Just Arrived - Welcome Her

 

February 2021 Has Just Arrived - Welcome Her

 

The second month of the year 2021 popularly known as, called and addressed as February has just arrived.

It is very necessary that you not only welcome her with very large smile on your lips but also a big bear hug and embrace - don't worry, she is not CV19 positive

In this month

You shall experience more growth and elevation

Your borders shall be expanded and your coasts enlarged

God shall perfect all that concerns you, He shall fight your battles and you shall just hold your peace

No weapon fashioned against you shall prosper and every tongue that shall rise up in judgement against you shall be condemned

God shall be Your Provider, Protector, Shield and Guardian and under His very watchful Eyes, nothing shall be by any means hurt you.

If you are yet to take the first step towards realizing your goals for this year, February offers you a great opportunity to start.

It's a month of manifold blessings and you have been rightly positioned to appropriate the blessings

Always be grateful

Happy New Month

Always be Blessed and be Happy

Dr. Oguzie Jerry - the First: JP

#successwithdrjerrythefirst