Can We Really Make Life Simple Again?

 

Can We Really Make Life Simple Again?

 As young persons, life was simple infact very simple, right?

And sometimes we want to get back to that innocence of childhood and spend some time there, isn't it?

However, the truth is that life is still simple.

The difference is that we are now older and have lost all the childhood innocence, faith, trust and hope. The older we get, the more complicated we make life.

Now compare these two scenarios - as children, we were quite hopeful of the fact that we would get the best things in life. we knew what we wanted out of life, for instance I wanted to be a Medical Doctor; we had no concealed agenda or biases. we loved people who smiled often and kept away from those who were always frowning. we ate when we were hungry, drank water when we were thirsty and went to sleep when we were dog tired from playing with other children in the neighbourhood, we trusted our instincts and acted them out without seeking validation or approval, life was that simple

but

as we grew older,  we gradually lost our childhood, we had so many negative external influences, our minds became gradually conditioned to these negative external influences.

At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.

When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times.

Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.

We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.

We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. 

And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, bought things we didn’t need, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time we made our lives more and more difficult — we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need. And at the very least, Covid has shined a spotlight on this reality.

Can we make life simple again?

You bet we can

So, let’s get back to the basics, shall we?

Let’s make things simple again.

Here are three ways to do just that:

1.      Change your focus

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The mind is indeed your battleground. It’s the place where the greatest conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never did happen. But if you allow these thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into a nervous breakdown, into depression, and into defeat.

Because, to a great extent, you are what you think.

You can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking

A beautiful day always begins with a beautiful mindset.

When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Breathe onto the bathroom mirror, just to see how amazing your breath looks.

The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one. 

2.      Fight today's battles ONLY

No matter what’s happening, anyone can efficiently fight the battles of just one day.

It’s only when you add the battles of those two abysmal eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated.

Also, remember to refill your bucket on a daily basis. That means catching up on sleep, making time for fun and laughter, eating healthy enough to maintain peak energy levels, and otherwise making time for recovery from the pressures of life. 

3.      Respectfully care less

Today, I challenge you to make this your lifelong, daily motto: “I respectfully do not care.”

Say it to anyone who passes judgment on something you strongly believe in or something that makes you who you are.

People will inevitably judge you at some point anyway, and that’s OK. You affected their life; don’t let them affect yours.

Remind yourself that even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of themselves. You know this is true.

You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

Make that decision for yourself today.

And when you do these three things, you would be surprised at  how simple your life can get again

I bid you try

#successwithdrjerrythefirst

For God’s Sake, Just Do Something Meaningful: An Angry Letter To The Nigerian Youth

By Bayo Adeyinka

My dear Nigerian Youth,

I am very angry and that is why I am addressing you. You are the source of my anger and I want to vent my spleen- maybe not at you directly- but at the arrogance of your ignorance. Of all nations of the world, you are to be most pitied. Do you still wonder what you have done?

You don’t have an Ivy League education but with the little below-standard education you got, all you could do with it is to write a petition against someone with the benefit of an Ivy League education. You can’t even run your personal economy as you’re almost always and perpetually broke yet you arrogate to yourself superior knowledge about the nation’s economy.

You sit in front of a computer and rant all day through social media but with every click, you make money- not for yourself- but for Mark Zuckerberg. With every megabyte of data you spend complaining and maligning, you make stupendous bucks for Etisalat, Glo and Airtel.

Over the next two years, the number of Nigerian millionaires will jump by 47% but most likely you will not be among because you are too busy whining and complaining. And yet about 60% of Nigeria’s 170m population are below 35 years. Oh, what a waste!

By the way, Mark Zuckerberg was 19 when he started facebook. Africa’s youngest billionaire, Ashish Thakkar, is 31. He escaped from the Rwandan genocide and relocated to Uganda where he started an IT business.

Collin Thornton, who made his millions by fixing bad computers and setting up Dial-a-Nerd, is 35. Adam Horowitz, an 18-year-old entrepreneur, started 30 websites in 3 years before he became successful.

The only thing you have ever started is an online petition. Have you heard of Jason Njoku? He’s 33 and the founder of Iroko TV. He received $8m investment into his company just a few years ago.

What he does? Sharing the same Nollywood films that you spend hours to watch online. He didn’t just hang around waiting for Buhari to make something happen or blaming Jonathan for not making anything happen.

Kamal Budhabhatti was deported from Kenya but while on the flight, he thought of the opportunities in Kenya. He found his way back after 6 months and today his company is valued at $30m. He’s 36.

Have you heard of Chinedu Echeruo? Apple just paid $1b for his app. He’s a Nigerian like you and all he did was attempt to fix a problem.

But for you, the only thing you attempt to fix are your nails- and your hairdo!

Chinedu moved to New York in 1995 and found it difficult to navigate the city with ease so he developed HopStop to fix the problem.

Stop listing all the problems- we know them already but what are you doing about them?

Awolowo was 37, Akintola was 36, Ahmadu Bello was 36, Tafawa Balewa was 34, Okotie-Eboh was 27 and Enahoro was 27 at the time of independence of Nigeria. In 1966, the first coup was led by Kaduna Nzeogwu (29) and stopped by Murtala Mohammed (28), TY Danjuma (28), IBB (25), Sanni Abacha (23) and Shehu Yaradua (23). It brought in Yakubu Gowon as Head of State at 32 and Obasanjo at 29. You are in your 40s and you still sag your trousers.

Of course you know Linda Ikeji. You’ve spent hundreds of hours on her blog laughing and commenting while she smiles her way to the bank. She’s just built a house for her father in the village- just by you clicking on her gossip and sharing. Your day is not complete without a stop by at her blog. She was as broke as you are but she turned a hobby into a business.

Are you that void of understanding? You think the politicians have any regard for you? That is why I referred to the arrogance of your ignorance at the beginning of this diatribe. You have a false estimation of yourself. You have an over bloated ego. You are only as good as an election ticket- pure and simple.

You are only good to be used and discarded like a used ballot paper. Who keeps a used ballot paper anyway? That is why they only remember you every four years. You are like a menstrual pad that is only useful during the menstrual period. Are you hurt? Okay, let me help you.

Have you heard of Prof Olusola Adeyeye before? He is a Senator of the Federal Republic at the moment. But before he became a senator, he was popular on facebook. Even more popular than so many latter day facebookivists. I was one of his many followers.

He put up posts after posts and pander to populist thinking. Then he was elected and one of the first things he did was to deactivate his facebook account. Yes, you read me right. Deactivate.

How many times do you still see El-Rufai’s tweets? No longer regular? That is how it will dwindle until he disappears totally. I’m not limiting it to the aforementioned alone and this is not about any party. They are all the same.

Yet you falsely believe your future is in the hands of one politician. You will grow grey hair with that belief. And by the time you wise up, you’re on your way to the grave- not with a life expectancy of less than 60 years in this clime.

Can you see you have wasted your time? And possibly your life?

See, people have been complaining since independence. And they will still complain in 4 years. Will you be among them?

I agree with my friend who said Nigerian youth need mental detoxification. And maybe I should add that you need a brain transplant.

Let me give you another example. I’ve watched you try to pull some people down when you don’t like their face- or their comments. You report them to facebook. And they get pulled down. Momentarily. Just momentarily.

Do you know why? Facebook knows those people draw traffic. Their posts get huge numbers of comments. And with every comment and click, someone is making money. Will you allow your best customers to leave? 

That is why though facebook pulled down Adeyinka Grandson’s page, he was given a facebook fan page in return. Yes, a fan page.

You need to get a job and you need to get a life. There is life away from facebook or social media.

If you’re not making money from social media and you sleep on it, you’re merely existing- you’re not living.

I have seen some of you take selfies and pose in all manner of ways as you paste your photos on social media. Are you a photographer or are you selling something that we don’t know?

You’re unemployed because you’re unemployable. You don’t have skills.

Sorry, the major skill you have is that of pointing out the problems and debating about them. That’s a no brainer! You can’t even diagnose the problems properly.

You think Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala is your problem? You are a self-inflicted problem. You are afflicted with yourself and by yourself. If you’re looking for the reason why you are the way you are- look no further than your mirror. Instead of occupying Nigeria, you should occupy your brain. The only witch chasing you from your village is you. It’s time to stop bewitching yourself.

Stop whining about lack of electricity or fuel. Do something about it. Every adversity has a seed of opportunity embedded in it. Create something. Invent something. Start something.

Read up a book. Write a book. Take advantage of the present situation. Nigeria is a huge market. Nigeria is a virgin market. Waiting for you. Unleash yourself. Release your passion.

Follow your potential. Invent your way to prosperity. Stop waiting for government- government only needs you when they need your taxes. Don’t depend on welfare. People who depend on welfare don’t fare well.

You think you lack capital? No, the problem is not lack of capital but lack of ideas. Just today, two men stepped into my wife’s office selling the new portraits of Buhari and Osinbajo. That’s someone grabbing an opportunity and seizing the moment.

I have a friend who started out by offering after-school lessons to kids on her street- now she has a school.

I know a lady who was indigent and self-sponsored on campus. Each night, she soaked beans and made ‘moin-moin’ in the morning for sale on campus. I bought out of the moin moin as well as some other students and that was how she paid her way through University. Not prostitution.

Have you heard of Ayodeji Megbope? She started her business with the last N1,000 she had on her by making moin moin. She is the CEO of No Leftovers.

I have shared the story of ‘Akara Ayo’ and invited him to talk to us before. He left his banking job to start a business frying Akara (bean cake) in Ibadan. And added some innovation to it.

Start a snail farm. You can start it with less than N100,000. I started it with nothing- I just picked up snails in my compound and raised them. In a couple of months, I had raised close to a thousand.

You have a car and you are complaining you don’t have a job? Convert it for car hire. Take it to the airports and see how people will hire it for the day. Liase with good hotels and place it at their disposal.

I met a young man in Calabar who charges N1,500 per hour for the use of his car.

There is something in your hand that can give you the future you want. The best moment to start is now.

For God’s sake, just do something!

NB: This is just an article to stir up and challenge people and it’s intention is not derogatory in any form.