17 Resolutions
Only the Most Successful People Make
Easy, rewarding, fulfilling. What's not to love?
New
Year's resolutions: Most of us make them; most of us fail to keep them.
Why
do we fail? Usually, we resolve to do something so big, so difficult, so
time-consuming--we reach so high, the simple act of reaching gets tiresome. And
so we quit.
Fortunately,
there's a better way.
Here
are 17 simple things to do sometime in 2016.
They're
all one-time events (although you can certainly repeat them as many times as
you like). And each is a lot easier to accomplish than some
hopefully-life-changing-but-in-the-end-never-accomplished New Year's
resolution.
See
the following as a to-do list you can check off as you go along:
1. Do one thing you've been
afraid to do.
The
most paralyzing fear is fear of the unknown. (At least it is for me.)
Nothing
ever turns out to be as hard or as scary as you think.
Plus, it's incredibly exciting
to overcome a fear. You'll get that "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I just
did that!" rush. That's an amazing feeling you probably haven't
experienced for a long time.
2. Apologize for one thing you
need to apologize for.
People
make mistakes. So we blame them for our problems.
But
we are almost always to blame too. Maybe we didn't provide enough
training. Maybe we didn't foresee a potential problem. Maybe we asked too much,
too soon. We did or did not do something we could have.
Take
responsibility instead: not in a masochistic, woe-is-me way, but in an
empowering way. Take responsibility, and then focus on being smarter or better
or faster or more creative next time.
3. Start one thing you've
always planned to start.
You
have plans. You have goals. You have ideas.
Who cares? You have nothing until you actually do something.
Every
day, we let hesitation and uncertainty stop us from acting on our ideas. Fear
of the unknown and fear of failure often stops me and may be what stops you,
too.
Pick one plan, one goal, or one idea. And get started. Do
something. Do anything. Just take one small step.
The
first step is by far the hardest. Every successive step will be a lot easier.
4. Tell one person how awesome
he or she is.
No
one receives enough praise. No one. Pick someone who did something well and
tell her or him.
And
feel free to go back in time. Saying, "I was just thinking about how
you handled that project last year" can make just as positive an impact
today as it would have then. Maybe a little more impact, because you still
remember what happened a year later.
Surprise
praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the
recipient.
5. Prove one person wrong.
I'm
ashamed to admit it, but one of the best ways to motivate me is to insult
me--or for me to manufacture a way to feel insulted, regardless of whether I'm
justified in feeling that way or not.
See,
whether I'm justified in feeling slighted or angry is not the point. I use
rejection to fuel my motivation to do whatever it takes to prove that person
wrong and, more important, achieve what I want to achieve.
Call
it manufactured anger. Call it artificial competition. Call it, shoot, childish
and immature. I don't care--it works for me.
And
it can work for you.
So
don't turn the other mental cheek. Get pissed off, even if your anger is
unjustified and imaginary--in fact, especially if your anger is unjustified or
imaginary--because that will help shake you out of your same thing, different
day rut.
6. Ask one person for help.
Asking
someone for help instantly recognizes the person's skills and values and
conveys your respect and admiration.
That's
reason enough to ask someone to help you. The fact you will get the help you
need is icing on the achievement cake.
7. Offer to help one person.
Then
flip it around. Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness, so they
hesitate. Yet we can all use help.
But
don't just say, "Is there anything I can help you with?" Most people
will automatically say, "No, I'm all right."
Be specific. Say, "I've got a few minutes; can I help
you finish that?" Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing
or gratuitous.
And
then actually help. You'll make a real difference in someone's life--and you'll
take a solid step toward creating a connection with that person.
8. Do one thing no one else is
willing to do.
Pick
one thing other people aren't willing to do. Pick something simple. Pick
something small. Whatever it is, do it.
Instantly,
you're a little different from the rest of the pack.
Then
keep going. Every day, do one thing no one else is willing to do. After a week,
you'll be uncommon. After a month, you'll be special.
After
a year, you'll be incredible, and you won't be like anyone else.
You'll be you.
9. Just once, refuse to care
what other people think.
Most
of the time, you should worry about what other people think--but not if it
stands in the way of living the life you really want to live.
If
you really want to start a business but you're worried that people might
think you're crazy, F 'em. If you really want to change careers but you're
afraid of what people might think, F 'em. If you really want to start working
out but you're afraid people at the gym will think you're fat or out of shape,
F 'em.
Pick
one thing you haven't tried simply because you're worried about what other
people think--and just go do it.
It's
your life. Live it. F 'em.
10. Tell one person yes.
You're
busy. Your plate is full. There are plenty of reasons to sit tight, stay safe,
keep things as they are. But that also means tomorrow will be just like today.
Say
yes to something different. Say yes to something scary. Say yes to the
opportunity you're most afraid of.
When
you say yes, you're really saying, "I trust myself."
Trust
yourself.
11. Tell one person no.
Still,
you can't do everything. You can't help everyone. You may want to, but you
can't.
Sometimes you
just need to say no: to a favor, to a request, to a family member.
Sometimes you really need to be able to focus on what is important to you.
Say
no at least once before the end of the month--the harder to say, the better.
And don't worry if you feel selfish: When your heart is in the
right place, what you accomplish by spending more time on your goals will eventually benefit other
people, too.
12. "Fire" one
person.
Maybe
there's an employee you really need to let go but haven't. Or maybe there's a customer,
or a vendor, or even just a friend.
Sometimes the
best addition starts with subtraction. Pick someone who is dragging you down or
holding you back, and let them go.
13. One time, just let it fly.
Yeah,
you only get one chance to make a first impression. Yeah, perfection is the
only acceptable outcome.
Unfortunately,
no product or service is ever perfect, and no project or initiative is
perfectly planned.
Work
hard, do great work, and let it fly. Your customers will tell you what needs to
be improved--which means you'll get to make improvements that actually matter.
You
can't find out until you let go.
You
can't really do anything until you let go.
14. Do one thing that's not
your job.
Job
descriptions are fine until they get in the way of getting things done.
No
matter what your role or what you've accomplished, you're never too good to
roll up your sleeves, get dirty, and do a little grunt work. No job is ever too
menial, no task too unskilled or boring.
The
next time you see something that needs to be done, do it.
15. Embrace one thing another
person does.
Sure, we're all individuals. (OK, I'm not.) We should
set our own courses and follow our own paths--most of the time.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is copy what made someone else
successful. Pick someone who has accomplished what you would like to
accomplish, and follow that path.
One
time, don't try to reinvent a perfectly good wheel.
16. Do something foolish.
Sometimes
the dumbest things result in our fondest memories: the time you and two
employees stayed up all night loading trucks and listening to every Zeppelin
album in order; the time you and another employee drove all night so you could
arrive at the customer's warehouse first thing the next morning to sort
defective product; the time you and a crew stayed in the plant all weekend
during a snowstorm, sleeping on cots and eating vending machine food and
cranking out orders ...
Each
happened more than 20 years ago, but my memories are vivid.
Do
something seemingly stupid or outrageous or crazy--the harder, the better. You
probably won't love it while it's happening, but the result will be doing
something cool and creating a memory that will always make you smile.
17. Call your parents.
Your
parents love you. They want the best for you. They will always be there for
you.
They
won't be around forever. Call them.
So here's your list:
1. Do one thing you're afraid
to do.
2. Apologize for one thing you
need to apologize for.
3. Start one thing you've
always planned to start.
4. Tell one person how awesome
they are.
5. Prove one person wrong.
6. Ask one person for help.
7. Offer to help one person.
8. Do one thing no one else is
willing to do.
9. Just once, refuse to care
what other people think.
10. Tell one person yes.
11. Tell one person no.
12. "Fire" one
person.
13. One time, just let it fly.
14. Do one thing that's not
your job.
15. Embrace one thing another
person does.
16. Do something foolish.
17. Call your parents.
If your parents are still around, appreciate them as much as you can; call them often, do for them what they did for you. If you fail to do these when they are here and would be able to thank you for taking care of them, when they are gone, it would be too late to shed tears and wish that they were still around
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