HOW NOT TO TRAIN CHILDREN
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WROTE THIS BUT IT MAKES INTERESTING
READING & FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Friends, Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in
the UK-and I live in Lagos now.
The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white,
English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to
support themselves-including the children of millionaires amongst them.
It is the norm over there- regardless how wealthy their
parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students
did the same-the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.
I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking
on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement, he said that his young children
travel in the economy class-even when the parents (he and his wife) are in
upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling.
A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or first class to commence
their studies in the UK.
No other foreign students do this.
There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime
minister in the UK-he travels on BRITISH AIRWAYS (BA).
And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an
aircraft for her exclusive use.
These practices simply become the culture which the next
generation carries forward.
Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton(the lady soon to
marry Prince William ) drives? VW Golf or something close to it.
But there's one core difference between them and
us(generally speaking).
They (even the
billionaires among them) work for their money, we steal ours!
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we
have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's
begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most
importantly be content, and not having to "steal", which seems to be
the norm these days.
"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age
for testing out the world in Nigeria
now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mind set among the last 2
generations of parents in Nigeria.
At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the
clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last
time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter
except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.
At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and
independent minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment,
gets a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into becoming
fully fledged adults.
I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because
the UK
economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere?
I beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained Recruitment Consultant and I have
been practicing for the past 10 years in Nigeria.
I have a broad range of experience from recruiting graduates
to executive director level of large corporations.
In addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with
relatively privileged upbringing. Driven to school every day, had my clothes
washed for me, was barred from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so
that I could concentrate on studying for my exams?!
BUT, I got the opportunity to live apart from my parents from
age 18 and the only time I came back home to stay was for 3 months before I got
married!
Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off
their children at age 18?
No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings that I made
from living on and off at my parent's house in London - indeed that is the
primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3 bedroom flat in London at
age 25 with absolutely no direct financial help from my parents!
For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever
enough for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton 's or Victoria Beckham 's.
Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never
worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first
or business class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria's Secret
underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving"
parents.
I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2
years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!
Oh really! So where exactly is this "child" is my
usual question. Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?
I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and
me, chances are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the nines, in
his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put your
salary to shame.
It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old who has NEVER
worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but "earns" a six
figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with
absolutely no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's
secretary in the office.
Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is
driven to the job interview.
We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the
inevitable question-so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes
straight out- N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum. Of course
it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your
first job? Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel that
an employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.
I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is in my opinion
the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is at the root of our
national malaise.
We have a youth
population of tens of millions of who are being "breastfed and
diapered" well into their 30s.
Even though the examples I have given above are from parents
of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa!
Wake up mum! Wake up dad! You are practically loving your children to death!
No wonder corruption continues to thrive.
We have a society of young people who have been brought up
to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birth right.
I want to encourage you to send your young men and women
(anyone over 20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even
consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to think, explore and strive.
Let them know that it is possible for them to succeed
without your "help". Take a moment to think back to your own time as
a young man/woman, what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be
where you are today?.
No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not
exposed to challenges, don't cook well.
That is why you see adults complaining, "my parents
didn't buy clothes for me this christmas", ask him/her how old they
are-30+.
Because of the challenges we faced in our youth, we are
where and what we are today, this syndrome-my children will not suffer what I
suffered is destroying our tomorrow.
Deliberately reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on
Saturday till late afternoon or evening, do as occasion deserves.
I learnt the children of some former Nigerian billionaires (with
all the stolen billions - monies in their custody), still go about with
security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of the
drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them up and
off they go, what a life. No one wants to marry them.
Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or
eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.
The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.-(
Henry Ford).
Everything in Nigeria is going down, including
family settings.
It is time to rebrand our children, preparing them for tomorrow.
We are approaching the season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will
survive. How will your ward fare?
If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retire, will
you fly a plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria?
People now fly first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or
read an article without bomb blast! Which Way Nigeria!, Which Way Nigerians!!
Is this how we will ALL sit and watch this country SINK?
Response Magic 
