Response Magic 
By Carrie Rich
Every few days, my
tech-savvy Pa Pa sends me a simple reminder via text – an image, a saying, a
blessing or a piece of wisdom to remind me about what’s important in life.
The other day, he sent me
this powerful quote: “You have to accept that you’ll never be good enough
for some people. Whether that is going to be your problem or theirs is up to
you. – Bryant McGill”
This message was
especially well timed, as I had recently been doubted and disrespected. I was
told that my dreams were too big and that I was naive to think I could be part
of pulling off the proposed vision with my level of (in)experience.
As much as I proactively
fine-tune how I present myself, being doubted because of my age was not a
first-time occurrence. I’m convinced it won’t be the last.
Like most people my age
and with my experience level, I have a long way to go in terms of being an
excellent leader. I’m aware that I’m learning and that respect as a young
leader is difficult to earn.
Nonetheless, it can be
disheartening to be repeatedly shot down by people who judge solely based on
age.
Troubled, I phoned my
mentor, John Maxwell, to whom I am sincerely grateful for sharing his profound
wisdom with me.
John Maxwell is an
internationally recognized leadership expert, speaker, coach and author. He is
the founder of EQUIP and the John Maxwell Company, working with over
7 million leaders across the globe. John coaches Fortune 500 companies,
international government leaders and distinguished organizations such as the United States Military Academy at West Point,
the National Football League and the United Nations. He is also a best-selling
author who has sold over 25 million books.
John suggested that I
reach out to him when I have a leadership challenge, so I took him up on the
offer.
I asked, “What should I do to prove myself
when people doubt me because of my age?” Here’s the advice he shared with me.
Ask Yourself If You Want People to Love You or See You as a Leader
If I’m completely honest, it would be nice to be loved
and followed. If I had to pick, I’d reserve being loved for family and friends
and focus work efforts on leadership.
John reminded me that
leadership can be challenging at times.
In order to achieve
greatness, you must understand that you cannot please everyone.
While you should
collaborate with others as a leader, it’s important to stick with your gut when
making decisions, even when your decisions don’t appeal to everyone.
You Must Earn Respect on Difficult Ground
There is no surprise here, but as a young leader,
respect is difficult to earn. You have to prove yourself day in and day out.
The best way to do earn respect
is by accepting failure for what it is and constantly putting yourself in
uncomfortable situations.
If others see you overcome
challenges both professionally and personally, they will be more likely to
respect you and follow your lead in the future.
People Buy Into You Before They Buy Into Your Vision
The most effective way to get people to follow you and
garner buy-in is by building relationships.
What many people don’t
know is that to you don’t need experience to gain followers. People will buy
into YOU.
This is why venture
capitalists spend so much time carefully evaluating themanagement team, not just
the business opportunity.
Congregations follow their
religious leaders.
The organization I serve,
The Global Good Fund, invests in leadership as the most effective means of
creating global good.
Love ‘Em But Leave ‘Em
One piece of John’s advice that especially resonated
with me was, “Don’t waste energy on the people who aren’t going on the journey
with you.”
Wasting your time with people who aren’t
passionate about your vision will take up too much of your energy.
For some
people, it doesn’t matter what the vision is. They expect to see an experienced
leader (usually someone who looks like they do) at the helm.
The
unfortunate reality of this situation is that nothing I say or do will convince
these people otherwise. It’s in my best interests and my organization’s best
interests to keep moving, or as John advises, “leave ‘em.”
Stay Encouraged
John explained the “young leader’s curse.”
Many young leaders have a
lot of energy, passion and vision.
What they often lack is
credibility.
But that’s OK.
If you keep doing the
right thing day in and day out, the credibility will come.
I hope you found these
lessons to be valuable in your personal leadership journey. Because of his age,
John Maxwell found that many people doubted him, and look how he turned out.
As a young leader
myself, I have learned that the best way to grow is to stick with your
convictions, take calculated risks and embrace failure for continued learning
opportunities.
I coach my team to focus
on what they do know rather than what they don’t and build from there.
People will always express
doubt; that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I’m starting to think it’s
an honor.
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