How To Stop Self Sabotage

Yesterday I had taken a look at how we sabotage ourselves Why Sabotage Yourself and mentioned a number of ways by which we do that and I had promised that today, I shall discuss how we can overcome self sabotage.

Remember we had said that self sabotage is like one being in one’s own way i.e. stopping oneself from becoming what one has chosen to be due to certain deficiencies and indecisiveness.

It’s not really that anyone would consciously want to sabotage themselves, it’s a result of past experiences and hurts which have been stored in our unconscious minds and which we use as defence of our inability to help ourselves.

And so the following are ways by which we can overcome self sabotage

1.    Self Analysis

If you find yourself doing something which deep down inside of you, you know that you shouldn’t be doing it, then it’s time to do a critical analysis of yourself.

Ask yourself this question “Who am I?” and proceed to find an answer to it

And one of the tools that have been developed for analysis which can also be applied to the self is the SWOT analysis tool

S – trength

W –eakness

O – pportunities

T – hreats

Take a good look at yourself and tell yourself the basic truth – remember that self deceit is akin to throwing yourself in front of a moving train and expect to be alive afterwards.

In bringing us into this world, God (or Whoever you regard Him to be) has given each one of us a strong command – “Go ye and achieve” it is left for you to heed this command and actually make Him proud of you.

He has deposited in you a gift, no other person has and it is left for you to search out that gift and to run with it.

A self analysis using the SWOT tool would help you to discover your areas of strength to strengthen them and your areas of weaknesses that need to be dropped.

2.    Avoid certain tendencies

There are certain characteristic tendency that help us to ‘hurt’ ourselves.

The chief amongst them is

Procrastination

This is the art and act of shifting poles – putting off for tomorrow what can be done today

Oh my gosh, if only you know how many people have gone to their graves with their hopes and aspirations buried, you would not ever want to procrastinate again.

Procrastination is not only a time eater, and the apology of lazy minds but it is a destiny destroyer

You made a resolution on the 1^st of January that you would never touch alcohol again, and for that day, you kept to your words and then by the evening of 2^nd of January, you landed where there was so much free booze and you could not hold back, your friend asked you if you are breaking your new year resolution and you answer him “old boy, only this once na” but it doesn’t stop at that, you continue subsequently. That is procrastination.

The best way to kill procrastination is to DO IT NOW.

I used to be a great procrastinator, yes me. In those days, I would have done a mental calculation of what I was going to gain from doing that thing that needed to be done, or having that conversation (infact I would have rehearsed all I was going to say right in my head) but to get it done or get it said was a herculean task, and then one day, I was in dire need and had to get help from someone I had had mental discussions with in my head over and over again, but because I was in a fix, I decided to go have that discussion and I told myself that there would only be two outcomes –either a yes or a no and whichever comes, at least I would have tried. Can you believe that the mission was even simpler than I imagined it, the person was too “happy” that I found him worthy to ask for a favour from him? I was lost for words, so if I had not gone discussing, there’s no way I would have known the impact.

From thenceforth, I decided to act it out immediately I conceive it. I am an Apostle of Do It Now mantra (I am an Apostle of many movements o  o  lol)

I realise that there can be no better time to do that thing but NOW.

So what is that thought, that inaction that has kept you down to the point of ‘hurting’ yourself, this is the best time to tackle it and tell it to go to ‘hell’ – literally speaking

3.    Consider Others

The Good Book says “Love your neighbour as you love yourself”

It also goes on to say that love is the fulfilment of the laws and the prophets because if you love your neighbour, you would not want to covet his property, you would not bear false witness against him, you would not steal what belongs to him, and your neighbour is not just the one that lives in the next house, it includes the one who lives in the same house with you. That person is your closest and nearest neighbour even though s/he could be your significant other.

When you indulge in self hurting actions, you are also directly hurting the neighbour in the house and that puts them in state of discomfiture.

So spare a thought for the neighbour

4.    Live Your Life

This life was given to you by God to live and enjoy.

Some religions teach that there would be a life after this but all these are based on faith and hope. And how that would be, no one alive can say no matter what revelations there may be. It’s only when we get there that we shall know. And until then this life we have now is what we have.

So right now, the only life that you are conscious of is this one right before you.

So why not live it?

Take that trip that would take you to no where except to explore life?

Someone in Nigeria just concluded a trek from lagos to Abuja a distance of about 1000 kilometers – that man has set a pace, very soon I would not be surprised to hear that people can now trek from Maiduguri to Lagos or from Pankshin to Owerri.

So instead of sitting somewhere and not doing anything reasonable, why not embark on a journey just to explore???

Instead of going to an office and moving files from table to table and then doing office gossip when there are no files to move around, why not embark on an internet business and start making extra bucks?

Instead of hanging out to get drunk, why not pick on certain younger ones in the Community and mentor them – teach them the virtues of hardwork and honesty?

So many people have died with their fantasies unfulfilled, do you want to be counted as one of those?

What is that fantasy of yours? Go ahead and live it, you have only this life, the next one, would never be the same as this.

Remember the story of Cinderella?

If she had not gone to that party when she had the opportunity, if she had allowed her mentality to check mate her (the hated maid), would her story have changed?

Change your story today, aim for the skies, even if you don’t reach there, you sure would be blessed with star dusts and you would be proud to show them off to the doubting Thomas’s in your life

5.    Mindset Makeover

All that I have written above would be of no consequence if you still operate from the mindset of your unconscious mind – the mind that gives you reasons, alibis, excuses for failure.

Switch over to the mindset that accepts no excuses, no reasons. The mindset that refuses to accept No for an answer.

It’s you and it is in you. Nobody else can do it for you

6.    Remember that there is God

Most religions still believe that at the end of this life, there would be judgement.

If you believe that, then you also ought to believe that God shall ask you to account for all the talents and gifts He had deposited in you and what you did with them.

Think about it

Well, that’s it for today

Thank you for reading

And don’t forget to let me know what your thoughts are about the topic

Have a great day

Dr.JTF

Your Brother and Friend