11 Hard Truths about Love You Should Know

1. There is no love without self love

Pay close attention to those people who tell you how much they love you, but who treat themselves as if there is nothing worthy about them.

If a person has no love for themselves, they will have no love to offer to those around. How can anyone offer you something they themselves don’t have? It’s just not possible.

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~ Maya Angelou

2. Love is not selective

I used to be so proud of the fact that I had love only for a selective few.

And in my ignorance, I failed to realize that my love was flawed and imperfect. Because just as the Eckhart Tolle so beautifully said it,

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary.”

3. Codependency is not love

So many people confuse co-dependency with love when in fact these two have nothing to do with one another.

Love is pure, perfect, and honest. While co-dependency is nothing but fear masked as love trying to cling onto other people by sucking the life out of them and by making them feel responsible for our own happiness, fulfillment, and well-being.

4. Love is not blind infatuation

You often hear people say things like: Oh my God, I fell in love! I’m so happy. And then after a little while, the same people will affirm: Oh, I’m so unhappy. I no longer love them. I fell out of love. 

But the truth of the matter is that what these people felt wasn’t love, but rather a blind infatuation that lasted for a little while and then it disappeared. Because that’s what infatuation does – it comes and goes. 

5. Love is eternal

Love isn’t something you fall in, and out of. Love just is. Love is eternal and always present. And if there’s true and honest love in your heart for someone, this love will remain with you for as long as you live. And whether you allow this love to be felt or not, that is your choice.

6. Love is not blind, or foolish

Love is not foolish, and love is not blind. Love will not permit us to be walked all over by those we love.

If somebody you love treats you in toxic and unkind ways, out of love for them and yourself, you will be guided intuitively to do what’s right – by either removing yourself from the toxic relationship or by asking them to change and correct their ways – but under no circumstances will love ask you to stay in a relationship where you will be abused, manipulated, and mistreated. So keep that in mind.

7. Love is to be offered to all

You might think that the only people worthy of your love are your family, your partner, your friends and a selective few.

But the truth of the matter is that the whole world is worthy and deserving of your love and affection. And since we are all ONE – connected with each other in a profound and meaningful way – it is your responsibility to expand your circle of compassion and offer your love and support, not just to those close to you, but to the whole world.

8. Love needs nothing in return

If you think you have a right to receive just because you have given your love to others, that is a clear sign your love is flawed and imperfect. Because love is pure and unconditional. It offers itself to the whole world without wanting anything in return. And even though we were taught to believe that we should only offer our love only to those who offer their love to us, we should never forget that true love comes with no conditions.

9. The word Love has become empty of meaning, but love itself has never lost its power

We go around throwing “I love you’s” as if love was nothing. But love is not, nothing. Love is everything. Love is the Source of all things. Love is what we all need, what we all seek, and what we all need.

And even though the word love has become empty of meaning through years and years of misuse, love itself has never lost its value and its power.

10. Love isn’t what we think it is

Love isn’t what we think it is. Love is what we feel. And since the majority of people have become disconnected from their own hearts and feelings, what we are getting is not love, but an idea of what love is supposed to be.

11.    Love Is Not Sex

A lot of people have been ruined because they thought that they could use sex to hold someone down in love. So many girls have become Mothers by force, so many boys who were unprepared to become Fathers have become emergency Fathers simply because they confused sex for love.

You do not use sex as a show of love or as a sign that you love someone.

If you love someone, you love them for who they are and what they stand for and not necessarily for what you can get out of them

And these are 11 hard truths about love we should all know.

What about you? What is one hard truth about love that you’ve learned and made your life better? You can share your opinion in the comment section below