Creating Successful Relationships

Over the years, I realized relationships in business mean everything. Whether it’s a new employer or a new Customer, the beginning of a relationship sets the standards for how the two of you will interact moving forward.

With so much riding on this new relationship, it’s important that you are clear and detailed about these standards.

To that end here are 8 important tips regarding establishment of the parameters for a new business relationship:

Tip #1: Be yourself.
Too many people try to be something they aren’t. They try to be too clever or too much fun. I learned over the years people can see through it when you are putting on an act.

Tip #2: Do as you would be done by.
My mum taught me this. Treating others as you want to be treated is the first and foremost concept that applies to all relationships, business or otherwise. In a business relationship, it means you treat your contact as you would like them to treat you.

Tip #3: Be sure to give positive reinforcement to behaviors you prefer.
Many studies have shown the best way to get more of the behavior you like is to acknowledge it with positive reinforcement. Rather than blasting a subordinate, co-worker, or client with criticism when they cross you, you should instead compliment the behavior you like.

In addition to remembering to acknowledge it, be sure that you give the positive reinforcement in the moment or directly after the incident. The happy feelings associated with the exchange are likely to make a better impression in their mind, improving your chances that you will enjoy the behavior again. For example, to the employee who presented both a problem and solution with an account: “I like how you came in with a proposed solution for that problem we had with the account. It makes my job easier when I have solutions presented to me instead of just problems.”

This does not mean, however, negative feedback is never warranted. It is important to also acknowledge the problems when they occur. When you do this, however, be sure to focus on the “the behavior” and not the individual. If you attack the person instead of the behavior, you can damage the business relationship.

For example, when a Customer emails your manager about a shipping problem instead of you, you might say something like, “When emails go to my manager about shipping problems first, there is a delay before I hear about it making it take longer to fix the problem. Can you please email me directly with those complaints?“

Tip #4: Be realistic about what you expect from people.
You can’t expect a new employee, co-worker or Customer to know all the rules in the first week, and in some cases, even in the first month. You must give them time to adjust to the new system and take in the feedback they receive.
If you are consistent with positive reinforcement, it will work. Don’t give up too soon.

In addition, they might have expectations as well. Be open to what they bring to the table, as it might be a great way of doing things you hadn’t considered. I always tell my team, “None of us is as clever as all of us.”

Tip #5: Be Honest.
Don’t lie. I don’t need to say any more.

Tip #6: Accept the fact you will argue.
Relationships are not always smooth sailing. Conflict resolution is all part of building a relationship. Accept the fact you will argue, but when you do make it short lived. If you are in the wrong, apologize. Discuss what caused the argument and work out how to avoid it for the future.

Tip #7: Make time for the person.
Always make time to just chat to the person. Do this without any ulterior motive.

Tip #8: Help them when they need it.
If they need help. Help them. Don’t think, “What's in it for me?” It’s the times like this my mum would say, “You know who your friends are.” It’s funny when I have experienced hard times, the people I thought were my friends and I had a relationship with faded into the background and other people came to the fore. This is a great test of a relationship.

Getting Fired From My First Job Taught Me How To Resign From The Rest

I got fired from my very first job. It was an evening job cleaning toilets at Mr. Donut. I was in junior high school. Maybe it doesn’t sound like such a great gig, but they said I could eat all the donuts I wanted.

Being 13 years old and having a growing boy’s appetite, that was more incentive than I needed.

I thought I was doing a decent job, but my bosses said I didn’t clean that well.

They also said that I was eating way too many donuts.

After that, I learned that I had to aim higher in every task that I accepted. I never got fired again. Sure, I’ve had to resign from a few jobs, but over the years I’ve gotten pretty good at leaving on good terms.

I’ve also seen the way others handle leaving on their own terms, and have learned from them as well.

Seven ways to leave with grace:

First, take a step back and assess your situation. 
Is it possible for you to get the career fulfillment you are looking for from the company you are with? If you can, fabulous, you’ll want to go as far as you can at every place you work.

Make sure that your boss or the executives you report to know what your career goals and hopes are. That way, they can help you get there, and there is no surprise if you decide to leave to chase those dreams if you can’t reach them where you are.

The most talented people will have many options available to them. 
It's best not to formally accept a new job before talking about it with your current employer. I would always say, “This looks good, but I’ll need more time to formally accept this as I owe my employer the chance to tell them.” Sure, there is a risk they can rescind the offer, but it’s unlikely.

Do this because it is the right thing to do; it’s a wonderful thing to give your employer a chance to discuss this with you.

Do not use this as a way to nickel-and-dime anyone in the final negotiations.

That leaves people cold — and they remember it.

Don’t only think about the future; also stay focused on the present. 
Work to ensure a smooth transition. Give everyone adequate time to prepare for your departure. Often times 2 weeks is not enough notice. Senior roles require 3-4 weeks.

Always keep the door open and offer your replacement or former team the opportunity to reach out if they need help. 
If it is welcomed, check in with new person once a week until you are not needed anymore.

Always act gracious and professional. 
People have long memories. Reference checks never go the way you expect. Of course people do background checks to ensure you are not a convicted criminal and they will hopefully call the 3-4 references you list, but they will also use backchannel references.

I get calls several times a month about people who haven’t listed me as references. I won’t talk unless someone authorizes me to, but not everyone has this policy.

Leave the door open. 
You never know how things are going to work out, and many companies will take people back.

At Yahoo, we call people who return "boomerangs," and we track this phenomenon and are very happy about their return.

We’ve even created several engagement platforms that help our HR department stay in touch with them.

Don’t let anyone make you feel disloyal. 
If your company is Neanderthal in its thinking, managing by fear, and trying to make you feel guilty for leaving, you shouldn’t be there anyway.

Do a great job while you finish out your time and feel good about moving on!


Shagari's 90th Birthday in Pictures

9 Things Women Expect From Men

1.     Take Charge

Women love it when their men are really in charge of things. They don't like to be left on their own as it were but want to be assured that all is well even when things are hard.

So to hold onto your woman, you have to show her that you are capable of taking charge of situations and circumstances

2.     Surprise Me

Women love to be taken by surprise especially if it comes to gift giving.

They love to be taken out on unplanned outings and to be treated like the ladies they are,

3.     No Other Woman

Women are very jealous of their men because they love to show their possessiveness of their men before their friends.

They don't like sharing their men and never want their men becoming philanderers

4.     Be Sincere

Women love it when their men are sincere with them even in small matters.

They hate to be disappointed by the fact that their men have been economical with the truth with them even in very small things

Sincerity is priceless where they are concerned

5.     Be Plain

Women love to be simple and plain to their men and so expect them to be so equally.

They don't want to deal with complexities and complicated personalities

They to know that yes is yes and no is no

6.     Guys Out

Women do not mind their men getting together once in a while to relive their bachelorhood days but they also don't want that to become a habit

So guys when you go out remember that your women are in the house and waiting for you

7.     Friends' Likeness

Women want to be accepted by the friends of their men. It is so important to them that they go out of their way to be nice to those friends

But if they notice that a friend of their man is less friendly to them, they would go to any length too to break that friendship

8.     Space

Much as they value and cherish the company of their men, women also ask for space sometimes.

They want to be allowed to be themselves, they want to be allowed to participate in old girls talks, to relive their spinsterhood lives again; they want to be able to make a decision of their own and get supported, they want to be appreciated.

So men be on the watch out

9.     Honesty Pays

Women want their men to be honest with them no matter what

Just be you, no camouflages, no hidden parts

Men, these are just the things we think that women do want from you
If you are married and you respect these, your marriage would surely be made in heaven
and if you are single and you make these happen for your woman, you sure would have her for life

Go, try.

It’s Valentine’s Day Today

Written by Umeano Timothy Obiora.

Valentine day celebrated annually on the 14th day of February has become a universal symbol of friendship and affection.

It is a day full of meaning, but so gravely misunderstood.

Val’s day has foundation in a gesture of love shown by a Saintly Priest Valentine.

Legend has it that the Priest Valentine, along with St.Marius, aided the Christian martyrs during the Claudian persecution. 

Emperor Claudian had passed an edict which outlawed Christianity and forbade soldiers to marry while on military service.

He felt that single men made better soldiers than married men.

St Valentine defied the imperial decree urging young lovers among the soldiers to come to him in secret and be joined in the sacrament of matrimony.

Uncovering this, Emperor Claudius promptly arrested Valentine.

He also had him brought b4 his court. Being impressed by the young Priest's boldness, the Emperor tried to convert him to paganism in order to save his life.

Valentine refused and tried to convert d Emperor to Christianity, instead.

As a consequence, he was condemned to death.

Valentine was tended by a jailer, Asterius,& his blind daughter, while in prison.

The blind girl was very kind to Valentine, bringing him food and messages. A very close relationship gradually developed between them.

Valentine converted the blind girl and her father to Christianity before he was executed.

The girl's sight became miraculously restored.

The night before his execution, Valentine wrote a farewell message to the girl which he signed affectionately, "from your Valentine" 

"from your Valentine", a phrase that lives on even to today.

He was executed in Rome on February 14th, 273 AD.

St Valentine leaves a lasting example of generosity, valour and perseverance in the practice of virtues, especially in the promotion of human rights.

His selfless love (agape) for a blind girl challenges all self-centered love.

St Valentine is the Patron Saint of LOVERS & ENGAGED COUPLES. 

Let us pray to him for chaste love and for happy marriage.

A PRAYER TO ST. VALENTINE: Dear saint and glorious martyr; teach us to love unselfishly and to find great joy in giving.
 Enable all true lovers to bring out the best in each other in God.



How a Dog Changed One Runner's Life

Get inspired by this amazing story of healing between a woman and her pet

At the start of eighth grade in 2008, Sami Stoner began having trouble reading her teacher's notes on the chalkboard. Despite new eyeglasses and a front-row desk, the outgoing then-13-year-old, who ran cross-country for her middle school in Lexington, OH, still struggled to see objects in her central vision.

Several months later at an ophthalmologist appointment, Sami's vision was measured at 20/50 (meaning she saw at 20 feet what someone with perfect vision saw at 50); four months after that, it was 20/300, past the point of legal blindness.
The devastating diagnosis: Stargardt's disease, an inherited, irreversible form of juvenile macular degeneration.

"Those initial months were terrifying—I wondered if I would become completely blind," recalls Sami, now 19. Still, despite all the uncertainty she was facing, she knew she needed to keep running, which she loved because it cleared her mind and gave her a sense of normalcy, she says. "So many things were changing and I didn't want to give up the feeling running gave me of being able to rely on my body."

With her vision deteriorating as she started high school, though, Sami could no longer handle the trails by herself. A close friend began to accompany her on runs and at meets. Then, in early 2011, Sami met her best race buddy ever: an 18-month-old golden retriever named Chloe.

Sami found Chloe through Pilot Dogs Inc., a nonprofit organization that matches people who have vision difficulties with guide dogs. In addition to the standard five-month guide dog training for Chloe, Sami joined her for an extra four weeks of prep at Pilot Dogs' headquarters in Columbus so they could get to know each other. During that time, Chloe also began to build her stamina in order to keep up with Sami on the cross-country trails, which are typically three miles.

"For everyday walking, guide dogs plan their path about 20 feet ahead, constantly anticipating obstacles like cars and tree roots," Sami explains. "But when you're running, that 20 feet comes a lot faster." Chloe learned to stop at street corners and pause when she sees a step or large bump coming up, alerting Sami to the obstacle. She slows down when running on uneven surfaces, and whenever she wants Sami to move over, Chloe will turn her head in the direction she wants Sami to go. (Sami still has limited up-close vision and can see Chloe; her doctors believe that her sight won't decline past 20/400.)

Within five weeks, they became a team, regularly logging miles together. Sami, going into her junior year, was itching to compete again. But the Ohio High School Athletic Association (OHSAA) did not allow service dogs to take part in official school sporting events and rejected Sami's request to compete with Chloe. "I was determined not to give up," Sami says. "Stargardt's wasn't a good enough excuse for me to stop living my life the way I wanted."

After multiple appeals by her school's athletic director, OHSAA reversed its stance, making Sami eligible to compete. Elated by the news, the new teammates planned to run their first race together in September 2011, at the start of Sami's junior year.

Before the race, Sami was all nerves. "At the starting line, dozens of thoughts and emotions flooded my mind: What would the other runners think? What if the race didn't go well? How would Chloe react to a crowd of 1,500 screaming spectators at the finish line?" Sami recalls. "But Chloe was perfect—she didn't even turn her head as people cheered our names. I think she was as excited as I was to compete!" As they neared the finish line, tears were flowing in the crowds. Even more impressive: With Chloe by her side, Sami ran faster than ever before, achieving a personal record. Later, Chloe refueled with her favorite post-run snack: bananas.

Sami, now a freshman at Miami University in Oxford, OH, still enjoys daily fun runs with Chloe but the two no longer compete. (College cross-country teams average about eight miles per day, which is too taxing for Chloe.) Chloe and Sami also do fun runs to raise money for Pilot Dogs, as well as other charitable organizations. "It's easy when Chloe is watching out for me. I know I won't fall with her there."

But Chloe is far more than a running buddy for Sami. "She's my best friend," Sami says. "When I was first diagnosed, I was terrified of what the future might hold. But with Chloe by my side, I'm excited again. She's restored my confidence for whatever is on the road ahead, not only in running but also in life."


By Arielle Ford - Bestselling love and relationship author and host of
The Art of Love Relationship Series
Discover how to have healthy fights that deepen love and strengthen connection, with these simple guidelines.

What forty years of university research with thousands of couples has led world-renowned therapist Dr. John Gottman to conclude is that most couples have at least nine irreconcilable differences between them.
If that's the norm, figuring out how to stop fighting isn't the goal. Discovering how to keep fighting in a way that strengthens your bond and brings you closer together is.
Wouldn't it be great if conflict with your partner wasn't something you had to feel bad about - because you knew it could only make your relationship stronger? That's possible if you practice these simple steps:
  1. Ask vs. Telling - Whatever you do, don't start off by telling your partner, "We have to talk." Those four words can be threatening and may make your mate feel defensive before you even begin. Instead, in a kind and simple way say, "Let me know when you have twenty minutes to talk to me, I need your creative input on an issue I'm having." This way you and your partner can set aside time for a thoughtful and productive conversation - when neither of you is too tired, distracted or angry to fight fair.
  2. Choose A Good Spot - Once you have a day and time for your talk, find a location where you won't be interrupted by other people or technology. You might consider going for a walk in nature, as studies have shown strolling side by side vs. sitting face to face creates a friendly, safe environment. Thank your partner for making the time to be with you and express that your intention is to create a deeper and more meaningful connection between you. Let your partner know that their happiness is as important to you as your own.
  3. Begin (And End) With Honesty - Start with at least five acknowledgements of your partner. Really lavish them with your love and appreciation of all the ways in which they make a difference in your life. Set the stage for a loving conversation that will result in a creative solution to your problem. Then, state the issue at hand from a "feeling perspective." If you're nervous or afraid, let your partner know by saying "I'm feeling a little nervous (or scared) to share this with you." And then be more specific. For example, "At the party last week when you said ____________, I really felt ________________. I'm sure you didn't intend to do that but in the future would you be willing to ______________ instead?" Or, if your partner is chronically breaking a promise you might say, "When you promise to do _______ and then don't, it makes me feel _____________ which then reminds me of all the times when my dad broke his promises to me and then I feel ________________." By being honest, open and vulnerable about your feelings vs. listing everything your partner did wrong, you're more likely to be understood and well received.
  4. Ask For Change - During these talks you don't want to start off with one issue and then overload your partner with a zillion other things. Keep your focus to the topic at hand. Your partner may also decide to share something they're upset about. When your partner is speaking listen carefully and encourage full disclosure by asking, "Is there more?" Or, "What happened next?" To create meaningful change, relationship expert Alison Armstrong suggests using this "magic phrase" - "I would really love it if you would ______________."
  5. Don't Pick The Wrong Battle - When you're feeling angry or unhappy with your partner ask yourself, "How am I feeling and why?" Let's say your partner has repeatedly promised to do something but hasn't. Of course you would be upset because it's become a pattern of unacceptable behavior that needs addressing. However, if your partner's doing something that's just different from how you would do it, or how you would like it done, and it really doesn't affect your connection to each other, you might just want to learn to love their "quirky" ways and accept them for who they are.
If we accept that disagreements are a normal and even healthy part of relationships, then we must recognize the importance of acquiring better relationship skills and learning the art of gracefully expressing our needs and desires. Suppressing hurt feelings only leads to anger and a lack of intimacy. But, by discovering how to create a safe and loving environment for "crucial conversations," we can create more loving, intimate and committed relationships -- even in the face of conflict.



by Shelley Emling

Finding a longtime couple who complains about too much hot sex is about as unusual as coming across an ice cube in the Sahara. For many, sex can grow a bit mundane after so many years with the same person. But all is not lost. You, too, can revitalize your sex life just by changing even a few of your everyday habits. Having been married for 22 years, I speak from experience. I also learned a few things by reaching out to Huff/Post50 contributor Ken Solin,who’s also AARP’s dating expert.

“If you’re sex life is on auto-pilot that may mean you’re not being fully present when you’re making love with your partner. The same foreplay, position and orgasms are boring after a while,” he said. “While it does require some amount of thought, it’s helpful to try to make love at least a little differently each time. Change the foreplay menu. Avoid monotony by making love in new positions. The words ‘boring’ and ‘sex’ don’t ever belong in the same sentence.”

For additional help, here are four bedtime habits that may be killing your sex life. Have your own ideas? Let us know in comments.

1. An open bathroom door policy.
Yes, I realize the movie This is 40 showed Leslie Mann chatting with her husband Paul Rudd while he was on the toilet, but — really — your partner doesn’t need to see you in the bathroom, or even cutting your toenails, no matter how close you two are. Leave a little mystery in the relationship and reap the rewards in the bedroom.

2. Wearing too many clothes.
I used to wear sweats all the time to bed. Bad idea! You want to have more sex? Go to bed wearing the same kind of sexy lingerie you used to wear when you were dating. Or, better yet, wear your birthday suit. And get ready to have some fun.

3. Asking your partner if he or she would like to make love.
Solin’s advice? “Grab your partner, take your partner in your arms and kiss him or her deeply, without breaking away, until whether or not to have sex isn’t the question … but whether on the sofa, the bed, a chair or the floor is the question,” he said.

4. Paying attention to the TV, your phone or your computer.
Don’t just silence your phone. Leave it — and your computer — in the kitchen. You don’t need them. And don’t go to bed with the news on. Nothing kills the mood faster than the latest tragedy in the Middle East. A few years back, researchers released a study showing that couples who have a TV in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. Sounds about right to me.



I actually have had this on my thoughts for a while but really didn’t want to talk about it until this day.

I just finished watching a program on “SOCIAL ISOLATION” and realised that much as we like to pretend that we are surrounded by friends and family, in the main a lot of people are really lonely, very lonely.

A 12 year old boy told his story of how his father walked out on his family on his 6th birthday- (the man had driven off that morning telling the boy that he would be back in time for his birthday, his mum had prepared the birthday cake and set the table and they were all waiting for the man of the house, but he did not come back, they lost their appetite and the birthday was cancelled and the man has not shown up since that day six years ago. The boy looks for his father whenever he sees an adult man and this has contributed to making him feel very lonely even in the midst of his friends.

A number of other people are very lonely in a world that is brimming with people from diverse backgrounds because of limitations placed on them by the Society.

Quite a number of factors could contribute to the loneliness that people experience, such things like death, gossip, blackmail, being at the top, possessing so much wealth, social rejection e.t.c.

It is funny how we struggle to amass wealth and then find out when we have “arrived” that we are really very lonely because we no longer can distinguish if any actually wants our company for our sakes or for the sake of our wealth.

Stories have been told of stupendously rich men who had so many friends and acquaintances but who became outcasts when nature dealt them a hard blow and their wealth was gone because no friend was there again to touch them even with a long pole.

It is only when you have encountered adversity that you would really know who your genuine friends are. And if you ask me, in your life time, you would be lucky to have just one person who genuinely loves you and would be friends with you whatever life throws at you.

If you are occupying an office and a lot of hangers on around you shout your praise, take it in but remember that when that office is gone, those persons shall shift their gaze to the next occupant of that office. Examples abound.

Fair-weather friends always fly away with the winds

Loneliness has contributed to a lot of social nuisance and crime. Depression, despondency, hypertension, raised cholesterol level, chronic Heart disease, have all been related to loneliness.

Are you lonely?
Do you suffer rejection?
Are you lacking in social relationships?

You don’t have to suffer unnecessarily
We are here for you
We can surely be of good help

We are Life Coaches and Counsellors
We hold your confidence

Contact us
Send us a mail:

A man shows love to his wife by learning to meet seven basic needs that are the essence of who his wife is.

1) She needs a spiritual leader -A woman longs to follow a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion, and character. She wants a man who can be both steel and velvet. He can be a man’s man, and at the same time he can be gentle, tender, and approachable. Such a man will be a spiritual leader in the home. He will take the initiative in cultivating a spiritual environment for the family. He will be a capable and competent student of the Word of God, and he will live out a life founded

2) She needs personal affirmation and appreciation - A man who loves a woman will praise her for personal attributes and qualities. He will extol her virtues as a wife, mother, and homemaker.

3) She needs personal affection and romance - Romance for a man means sex. He cannot imagine romance without having sex. Romance for a woman can mean lots of things, and sex may or may not be a part of it. Romance is basically a game. What is romantic to your wife, say, on Monday, may not necessarily be romantic on Tuesday. Indeed, women are adept at moving the romance on a regular basis, sometimes even hiding it in places where they can’t even find it. When you go searching for romance in the place where it used to be, you may discover that it is no longer there. You might get angry, mean, and bent out of shape, or you can remember, it’s a game. And games can be fun. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But it’s all a great game. Men, if you will approach romance in this way, not only will you find it fun, but you will also get better at it along the way.

4) She needs intimate conversation- A woman needs a husband who will talk with her at the feeling level (heart to heart). She needs a man who will listen to her thoughts about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern. Daily conversation with her conveys her husband’s desire to understand her.

5) She needs honesty and openness - A woman needs a man who will look into her eyes and, in love, tell her what he is really thinking. He will explain his plans and actions clearly and completely to her because he regards himself as responsible for her.

6) She needs stability and security - A man who loves a woman will firmly shoulder the responsibilities to house, feed, and clothe the family. He will provide and he will protect. He will never forget that he is the security hub of the family for both his wife and his children.

7) She needs family commitment - A woman longs to know that her man puts the family first. Such a man will commit his time and energy to the spiritual, moral, and intellectual development of the entire family, especially the children.
When a man loves a woman, he makes it a life goal to meet seven basic needs of his wife. When a husband is committed in this way, and when a wife has the same commitment, it is not surprising that both husband and wife have a smile on their faces and joy in their hearts. This is the way God intended it from the beginning. As persons committed to God’s plan for marriage, we should settle for and expect nothing less.



Literally, RELATIONSHIP means the act of dealing with others, this shows that RELATIONSHIP involve 2 or more people. then, who are these people in a RELATIONSHIP? they are:
{1} ADDERS: {we enjoy them} this type of people add values to life, these are people that have the desire to help others. These people are adders, they make the lives of others more pleasant and delectable, they lift people up.
{2} MULTIPLIERS: {we value them} this type of people are the people we cherish and value most in our RELATIONSHIPS cos they are our mentors, elevators, counsellors e.t.c, they are always generating great ideas, they help us to sharpen our vision and maximize our strengths. They have d skill to help us succeed.
{3} SUBTRACTERS: {we tolerate them} these types of people do not bear our burdens, problems and they make them heavier, they always add problems. The sad news about them is that they do it unintentionally. If u can’t add to others, then you probably subtract by default.
{4} DIVIDERS: {we avoid them} this type of people are those that will take you down as low as they can, as often as they can, they don’t want people to achieve better than them, they are too selfish. They are hurtful people who make themselves look or feel better by trying to make someone else do worse than they do. As a result, they damage RELATIONSHIPS and create havoc in people's lives.


God created us to be dependently independent as no man is an island unto himself. We need relationships to be able to exist in this rather difficult world


How to Tell If a Guy is Lying: Ten Pretty Good Signs

Obviously you can't always know if a guy is lying to you, especially if he is really good at it. But still, there are signs sometimes that can help you out. Below are ten pretty good signs on how to tell if a guy is lying to you.

How to Tell If a Guy is Lying: Ten Pretty Good Signs.

1 - He'll avert his eyes when responding. This is something most people do when having to come up with a lie on the spur of the moment. It's an involuntary reflex. If they look away to one side or the other, they're trying to avoid looking at you. If they look down, the odds are good they are trying to think up a response as quickly as possible.

2 - His breathing changes before he speaks. If you say something that might implicate your guy in a lie, if it's true, watch his breathing. He may hold his breath altogether, or his breathing rate may increase as his heart rate picks up. Both are signs that he might be lying.

3 - His mouth moves. This is another involuntary reflex that people do when mulling things over or are trying to think up a lie. Lip chewing, moving the lips from side to side, or pulling the lips in. All are signs of distress which may mean a lie is coming.

4 - His story doesn't add up. This is one of the more obvious clues that a guy is lying, but it bears noting. Sometimes when people are lying they have difficulty keeping straight just what sorts of things they've said. If you listen carefully to what he says, you might just find some discrepancies.

5 - He clears his throat. Yet another involuntary gesture that people do when trying to put words and thoughts together and are finding it difficult due to having to make something u quick.

6 - He takes longer than normal to answer. Normally, when a person relates something that happened or the events or ideas that led up to things, they simply dive in. On the other hand, if someone has to change history so to speak, it takes a second or two to put the story together. Of course this is only true if the person is put on the spot. If they make up their lie beforehand, it's likely to pop right out with nary a lag in time.

7 - He's sweating. If there isn't any apparent reason for him to be sweating, hot weather say, or recent physical exertion, then you have to ask yourself, why is your man sweating? Is he nervous? Anxious? If so, why?

8 - He tries to change the subject. Another thing that people do, especially guys, is to try to change the subject if the topic is hitting on something he'd prefer to be kept hidden. Granted, he may simply be uncomfortable with the topic, but when consider this type of action along with others mentioned here, it can help build your case.

9 - He puts it back on you. Something men do a lot when cornered, or caught in a lie, is try to reverse the situation and put the onus back on you to prove what you're saying, or to defend yourself from some other charge. This is pure manipulation and is usually a very good sign that your man is not being up front with you.

10 - He sets his jaw. This is something men do more than women also. They set their jaw tight, or move their head a certain way so as to put forth a front that tells you they are digging in; which means they've told you their story, and now they're going to stick to it no matter what. While it's not proof of a lie, it is a sure sign that they are going to defend what they've said to their bitter end.


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