Saturday, September 2, 2017

11 Hard Truths about Love You Should Know






1. There is no love without self love

Pay close attention to those people who tell you how much they love you, but who treat themselves as if there is nothing worthy about them.

If a person has no love for themselves, they will have no love to offer to those around. How can anyone offer you something they themselves don’t have? It’s just not possible.

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~ Maya Angelou

2. Love is not selective

I used to be so proud of the fact that I had love only for a selective few.

And in my ignorance, I failed to realize that my love was flawed and imperfect. Because just as the Eckhart Tolle so beautifully said it,

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary.”

3. Codependency is not love

So many people confuse co-dependency with love when in fact these two have nothing to do with one another.

Love is pure, perfect, and honest. While co-dependency is nothing but fear masked as love trying to cling onto other people by sucking the life out of them and by making them feel responsible for our own happiness, fulfillment, and well-being.

4. Love is not blind infatuation

You often hear people say things like: Oh my God, I fell in love! I’m so happy. And then after a little while, the same people will affirm: Oh, I’m so unhappy. I no longer love them. I fell out of love. 

But the truth of the matter is that what these people felt wasn’t love, but rather a blind infatuation that lasted for a little while and then it disappeared. Because that’s what infatuation does – it comes and goes. 


Love isn’t something you fall in, and out of. Love just is. Love is eternal and always present. And if there’s true and honest love in your heart for someone, this love will remain with you for as long as you live. And whether you allow this love to be felt or not, that is your choice.

6. Love is not blind, or foolish

Love is not foolish, and love is not blind. Love will not permit us to be walked all over by those we love.

If somebody you love treats you in toxic and unkind ways, out of love for them and yourself, you will be guided intuitively to do what’s right – by either removing yourself from the toxic relationship or by asking them to change and correct their ways – but under no circumstances will love ask you to stay in a relationship where you will be abused, manipulated, and mistreated. So keep that in mind.

7. Love is to be offered to all

You might think that the only people worthy of your love are your family, your partner, your friends and a selective few.

But the truth of the matter is that the whole world is worthy and deserving of your love and affection. And since we are all ONE – connected with each other in a profound and meaningful way – it is your responsibility to expand your circle of compassion and offer your love and support, not just to those close to you, but to the whole world.

8. Love needs nothing in return

If you think you have a right to receive just because you have given your love to others, that is a clear sign your love is flawed and imperfect. Because love is pure and unconditional. It offers itself to the whole world without wanting anything in return. And even though we were taught to believe that we should only offer our love only to those who offer their love to us, we should never forget that true love comes with no conditions.

9. The word Love has become empty of meaning, but love itself has never lost its power

We go around throwing “I love you’s” as if love was nothing. But love is not, nothing. Love is everything. Love is the Source of all things. Love is what we all need, what we all seek, and what we all need.

And even though the word love has become empty of meaning through years and years of misuse, love itself has never lost its value and its power.

10. Love isn’t what we think it is

Love isn’t what we think it is. Love is what we feel. And since the majority of people have become disconnected from their own hearts and feelings, what we are getting is not love, but an idea of what love is supposed to be.

11.    Love Is Not Sex

A lot of people have been ruined because they thought that they could use sex to hold someone down in love. So many girls have become Mothers by force, so many boys who were unprepared to become Fathers have become emergency Fathers simply because they confused sex for love.

You do not use sex as a show of love or as a sign that you love someone.

If you love someone, you love them for who they are and what they stand for and not necessarily for what you can get out of them

And these are 11 hard truths about love we should all know.

What about you? What is one hard truth about love that you’ve learned and made your life better? You can share your opinion in the comment section below

14 comments:

  1. 1. There is no love without self love

    I understand you can't give what you don't have. How can you love others when you don't love yourself. Charity begins a home. You must first love yourself before others
    B.love is not selective
    Love is not selective. It is an attribute,a character and a way of life. As Jesus did, we ought to show love to all mankind. It comes from within
    C.love is not blind. It has understanding and comes from within
    S. Love is not sex. You lay down your life for what you love and not just sex

    E.love is eternal , does not die

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  2. 2. Love is not sex

    People fall into the trap. I was taught when you love someone, it is all round, not just the physical appearance especially the female but everything about her so it is not about the sex but about the individual, what you feel for them

    With this understanding, people will not take advantage of one another, they should get to understand each other deeply and only get intimate at marriage

    Love is eternal
    Christ taught us this. You can't fall in and out of love no matter the condition. It is long lasting

    With this , people will have better relationship with one another knowing that love is eternal, on sickness and health, in rich and poor. It doesn't stop

    As I said, it is a character an attribute, a person, it doesn't change

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  3. 1. 1. Love is not sex.
    2. Love is eternal
    3. Love is to be offered to all.
    4. No love without self love.
    5. Love is not selective.
    6.Co dependency is not love.

    2. Love is not sex.
    Most times people only feel certain of one's love when clothes are subtracted and a bed or floor is added. Then the feel a false feeling of perfection, closure and intimacy. Love isn't about sex though yes at some point, that may come in but that should not be the ultimate.

    Love is eternal.
    I've heard people say I used to love their father but I don't like the way the wife and children behave. Once you love someone it isn't for a season, it stays it grows sorry but I'll cite an example from the bible there was a love so strong between David and Jonathan even with the hatred that existed from Saul Jonathan's father to David, David wasn't deterred, he extended that love years later to Mephibosheth Jonathan's son.

    Love is to be offered to all.
    Like I stated earlier, David offered his love for Dead Jonathan to his family... Love shouldn't be for a few even the bible says it, love and pray for your enemies.

    No love without Self love.
    You can't give what you don't have love is patient how can you be patient with others when you don't give yourself a breathing space? How can you forgive others when you still hate yourself for your past mistakes?

    Co-dependency is not love.
    It's called PITY when you're with someone because he/she paid your school fees... When they feed and cloth you. You cannot air your views because you're afraid they might leave so you both stay in this false bubble of fleeting affection.

    3. 1. Love isn't selective
    One a daily base, I don't choose who I should help or assist, it comes from a place of sacrifice... I don't help people cos we are church members or so.. I help everyone I come in contact with cos we both have beating hearts.

    Love is eternal.
    I believe love can be found even in the eyes of the blind!
    So I give people a few more options even when I don't see the reason to. But get me right, I don't let me guard down and I don't make you feel uncomfortable around me either!

    My response to the post?

    Hmmm! I believe love has no age limits... And love is spherical!! It isn't just between husband and wife... It's not an illusion... It's a beautiful journey people enter into bringing out the best in each other.. awakening possibilities and propelling them for greatness...!

    Love is a song, the deaf hears it's a way the blind sees it's the rhythm the cripple dances to!

    Goodmorning!

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  4. Seriously, most times of our life that we expend into financial knowledge is best expressed with the context in discussion. Without "LOVE", FINANCIAL ENDOWMENT is almost useless. Yeah! The summation of everything in existence is a product of love.

    As per this context,I list my five as:

    There is no love without self love.
    Love is eternal.
    Love is not blind or foolish.
    Love is to be offered to all.
    Love needs nothing in return.

    1). Self love is just the fulcrum of love. Since love is abstract, there is no parameter for measuring it. It's direct quantifier is ones self. Love is practical and it's demonstration is simply expressed by ones ability to show oneself love.

    2).Love is eternal. Sure it is. No wonder we don't cope effectively with it. There is no better way to actually define it other than this. Eternal is beyond understanding. This is the attribute in which love posseses that is obviously deficient in mankind. Eternity is a perpetual attribute of God and for man to share in it, we have to be transformed from this state to a mysterious state and at that point, its indescribable how we function then. The prints of love are some of the demonstration here on Earth that points to it's eternity, because when we are gone, those prints of love continues to live thus making it eternal too.

    3). Love is not blind or foolish. Yes it is not because we are gifted with knowledge and sound mind to actually see what is good and bad. During the complete creation of Eve, when Adam woke up and saw her, he had a wonderful expression of; "this is beautiful". In one of the local music by D'banj, "they say love is blind but I dey see well we'll". Meaning that, no one would profess love and have to bury oneself with an acclaimed loved one during burial, no one dares fall into the grave in company of a corpse . So, love is not blind nor foolish but is perfected in wisdom and knowledge.

    4). Love is to be shared to all. Perfect. To me, it doesn't need further adumbration. It's just emphatic with the statement. Just a good demonstration of it is cited in the biblical account of the good samaritan. He neither knew the deceased man but offered that love story that has never stopped being told.

    5). Love doesn't need something in return. That's ecstatic. The indefatigable value of love is best expressed when nothing is in expectation. The value that resonates from giving out help or sharing love that doesn't have recompense lubricates the mind of the offerer. It has an endless reward from the Creator.

    On the application to mankind. I take on these two.

    1). Love is to be shared to all.
    2). Love doesn't need something in return.

    1). If these love is not shared then life should stop. Love's sharing has given rise to the development and advancement we have on the planet already. Every invention was down to the creative mind of love. Love brings solution to man's insatiable needs. One of the typical examples of this application is what we share in this platform; DE JTF OGUZIE IS sharing LOVE to us. Thanks convener.

    2). Love demands nothing in return. Yeah, one cannot actually pay for all that love offers. If there should continuous payment on return for every kindness shared, hey, there will be another planet to contain the many thanks. In my locality, one Swiss built a school from Switzerland without visiting the committee just on an information that was forwarded to him via a Reverend sister in the Catholic Church. This school is being run on free tuition and is ably funded by the man. The school is still in existence and no return to the man except that, he persuaded the sisters to continue running the school no matter what.

    How have I applied it to my life partner. Enormous and countless seriously. I have shared love that I can't even explain it in the actual context other the persistent feeling that has refused to wear out. no measure to my wife.

    .

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    Replies
    1. Love is not love if it does not love that which is completely unlovable

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  5. *Love is not blind or foolish. *There is no love without self love. *Love is not selective. *Love is not blind Infatuation. *Love is not sex. 1. *Love is a decision and it sees. * One cannot give what one does not have. * You cannot love someone's face and not love his/her body. *Love is not just about sleeping with someone. * Sex is different from love. 2.LOVE IS NOT SEX : When you love someone, you also love everything about the person sex inclusive. However, the way you tolerate the person's excesses is far beyond the way you tolerate another person's sex or no sex. THERE IS NO LOVE WITHOUT SELF LOVE: Many people are not capable of giving love because from inside they don't even love themselves and this stems from childhood. Efforts should be made by parents to show enough love to children while growing up. That way they love themselves enough to give out love when they become married and transfer such attitude to thier own children that way it benefits mankind. 3.One hard truth about love that I have learned that has made my life better is loving unconditionally. With that I do that which I ought to do without expecting much and in the process I get everything I deserve !

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    Replies
    1. Self love is important because a man who does not love himself is incapable of extending love to any other person

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  6. 1.no love without self love;- bible say it all by saying love your neighbor as you love yourself. To de degree of love you have for urself determine how capable you are in loving other.

    2.love is not sex;- if love were to be sex, prostitute will be the most love on the plannet, but verse ( day are just the most used)
    Many couple do have a lot of sex, yet day end of filling for divorce. If love were to be sex, thay would not have divorce,. Sex is just one out of many way of expressing love dou the highest way of expressing love.

    3. Love is not selective:- I don't fully agree with that.I believe in the choise component embedded in love. God made animals to pass so that Adam will select, but adam didn't but de moment he saw eve, he selected Eve by acknowledging thus" dis is de bone of my bone, she shall be called woman
    If love is not selective,why don't we Mary every body. My opinion dou or mabe i didn't understand better
    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love is not selective
      this means that we should spread love to reach to even the undeserving of it. This is not about relationship love one has for one's spouse or family members, it's about the universal love which ought not to be discriminated upon

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  7. Love begins with self
    Love is eternal
    Love is to be offered to all
    Love is not selective
    Love is not sex

    Love begins with self: This means one must love himself before extending same to others. It agrees with the popular saying that one cannot give what he doesn't have. So if one loves himself, it naturally flows to others but if not, the reverse is the case. Also, charity begins at home is another adage that supports this point.
    Love is to be offered to all is really difficult because there are people who are unlovable and Ingrates but when I remember what Jesus did for me, l let go and reach out to them.
    The application requires l love myself and extend the same love to those around whether they deserve it or not.

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  8. a)love is not selective
    b)love is not blind infatuation
    c)love is not sex
    d)love is eternal
    e)codependency is not love
    LOVE IS NOT SELECTIVE: there is no picking and choosing of who gets love because love belongs to God. Love does not choose some and leave some,one can pretend not to be loved and take actions according to that thought but in the actual sense still loved. Love does not think or behave in any certain way.
    LOVE IS NOT BLIND INFATUATION: infatuation is an intense feeling of attraction towards someone. Infatuation alters a person’s perception of reality for example an infatuated person sees their objects of desire with a filter. In other words, they are in love with an idea not a real person like the pill Romeo took at the party that basically altered his reality and perception about Juliet.
    LOVE IS NOT SEX:The act of engaging is sexual intercourse, fooling around or making out does not necessarily mean love because one does not mean to have sex because of love and one does not need to love because of sexual moments. Sex can’t be classified as a duty because of anyone, it’s something both partners enjoy with full respect for one another.
    LOVE IS ETERNAL:Eternal love is the most powerful thing that is known to anyone and anything. Eternal love is an unbreakable bond between two soulmates destined for each other, it cannot wither nor die.
    CODEPENDENCY IS NOT LOVE:it’s a love addiction that can destroy your relationship and destroy you in person, because you are no longer able to function as a whole person without another’s presence and affirmation.
    ii)love is not sex: always ensure to love everything about your partner even when sex is involved or not.
    Love is not selective: love your neighbor as you love yourself, because everyone around u or anyone u come across deserves to be loved no matter the tribe, skin color,or religion,poor or rich.
    iii)Love unconditionally without expecting anything in return by doing so you get what you desire/deserve.

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